


unreliable liar

by beebolovesyou



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, a mess, some smut i guess, sort of angsty, they are kind of fugitives now i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-10-13 01:39:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 28,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17478818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beebolovesyou/pseuds/beebolovesyou
Summary: “I am unreliable because I'm a liar” she speaks bitterly.Lena drops her hand from her hip slowly, instantly her demeanor changes at the subject. Kara knows she’s thinking about their own situation, not too long ago she was calling her a liar to her face and denying her any sort of friendship. If anything, Lena is likely to align with the government’s perspective.or kara gets fired from the DEO & Lena spills the beans about her secret Harun-El project_





	1. Chapter 1

The lights of National City sparkle in the black void of the night. A mother sings a lullaby to a child two blocks away. A taxi driver preposterously curses in the driveway below. A heartbeat hums calmly five feet behind her, a familiar one.

“Supergirl?” Lena steps inside the balcony, pristinely dressed in her CEO attire.

Kara looks over her shoulder, smiling at the sight. “Miss Luthor” she acknowledges before her eyes go back to scan over the city absently. Lena shuts the balcony door behind her and steps closer to lean on the railing, leaving a moderate distance between them.

“It’s been a minute since I last saw you, how are you doing?” Kara asks politely.

Lena looks apprehensive but answers quickly “just working… how about you?”

Kara sighs heavily and scratches a blonde eyebrow “I got fired actually”

Lena seems a little startled by the announcement, maybe even a little annoyed by it. She turns around, one hand on her hip “what do you mean you got fired?”

“I mean, the DEO fired me” Kara says, shrugging.

“Why would they do that? You just caught Agent Liberty and stopped the terrorist attack on Shelly Island last week”

“Yeah well, seems I am not reliable anymore to the government” it’s vague, and Kara can see the CEO is exasperated but she’s not sure it’s a good idea to bring up the reason the government thinks her unreliable. She glances at the younger woman, golden green piercing through her soul with ease, knowing in that unique way that Lena has thanks to years of reading people.

“They wanted to know my identity. I refused, so they fired me” Kara blurts out, suddenly realizing how pissed the whole situation has her. She swore herself to this city. She would die for this city. She has been close to dying for this city… this world. All she holds for herself is this one single thing, the secrecy that allows her to be Kara, not Supergirl but _Kara_. And yet it’s not enough for them.

 “I am unreliable because I'm a liar” she speaks bitterly.

Lena drops her hand from her hip slowly, instantly her demeanor changes at the subject. Kara knows she’s thinking about their own situation, not too long ago she was calling her a liar to her face and denying her any sort of friendship. If anything, Lena is likely to align with the government’s perspective. 

“I don’t think anyone should demand that from you” Lena says finally with a decided expression. Kara looks back in bewilderment, and Lena can’t help but smile “I mean, you have a high-risk job that would only get more dangerous if the world knew who you’re when you’re not flying around in wearing a cape. I get it, some days it would be really easy if I could just not be Lex Luthor’s sister, hell, I would save myself so much money from the preventive-assassination-attempt budget”

Kara chuckles and leans forward a little bit more, drawn to Lena’s orbit. Lena notices and her hand moves over the railing, stopping a few inches away from Kara’s.

“I think” Lena starts but gets sidetracked when warm fingers brush against hers, then she looks into the blue eyes firmly and picks up the sentence “I think it’s less of a lie and more like a shield”

Kara feels tears prick on her eyes, unsure of why this is making her so emotional but she's unable to detach from Lena’s fervent stare “you’ve saved us all. You don’t have to give this up, it isn’t ours to take”

Kara ducks her head “one could argue I only saved you from the things I dragged here with me. Fort Rozz, Myriad, the Daximite invasion, Reign-“

“The Daximite invasion wasn’t your fault” Lena says severely, leaving the other part unsaid ‘ _it was mine_ ’

But Kara knows, she moves her hand on top of Lena’s in what she hopes is a reassuring touch. “No joke, they were some massive a-holes without help”

Lena smirks at her selective language “that they were indeed.”

They stay silent for some long lasting minutes, just gazing at the city and basking in each other’s presence. Kara looks up at the sea of stars, the Milky Way and beyond, her eyes chasing something they won’t ever see again. A place that tugs on her heart, that begs for her return. In that moment it’s only Lena’s hand anchoring her to this world, because her soul craves home with desperate manifestations of melancholy. Argo was somewhere else still standing among the stars, but there was no place for her there. Not for who she is now.

“Sometimes I feel like Krypton is calling me back. Like I’m not supposed to be here” Kara whispers with a throaty voice “maybe Rao needed me to die then, like all of his children. But I ran… I'm not sure I was supposed to run.”

“Supergirl…” Lena calls

Kara launches a last longing look at the sky, it’s hard to see the stars with your eyes flooding anyways. Then she looks at Lena, who’s sporting a pained expression, empathy Kara thinks or perhaps just pity.

“I left my people” Kara sobs “I left them to fulfill a mission, but I-I failed” it’s a heavy truth that Kara has always carried on her shoulders. Her sole purpose had been to take care of Kal-El, not only had she failed miserably at it but she carried a whole alien filled prison with her, crashed into the Danvers life’s and caused Jeremiah’s disappearance. It was evident that she had raised more ill than good on earth. She should have stayed in Krypton to burn along her brothers and sisters, she should have died with her father.

“you didn’t fail” Lena sates, caressing her wet cheeks “you are not failing”

Kara shakes her head resolutely but Lena stills her by the chin. “You haven’t been failing. This world owes you, not the other way around. Every day you go out there to help someone you don’t know and you ask nothing in exchange, you save lives on a daily basis just because you can and you want to. I’ve never in my life met anyone half as noble as you, nor as kind. You’re a hero and Krypton would be proud of you” Lena speaks with such devotion it is hard for Kara not to believe it. The hand on her chin slides down until is resting on top of the crest of the house of El.

“Your people are proud of you, I know it” Lena says it like a tender promise.

“How do you know?” Kara mutters.

“Because I am” Lena dictates matter of factly. Kara knows that’s not objectively a real answer but it warms her up like a cozy blanket, and oddly enough her mind passes it as a convincing reasoning.

She can’t help but wrap her arms around the shorter woman. Lena squeaks in surprise when the Kryptonian pulls her into a tight hug that lifts her off the floor and makes her heals hang comically, but Lena doesn’t complain, instead she puts a hand over the back of the blonde’s head that is tucked in the crook of her neck. It’s surreal, to be in her office balcony being held by National City’s superhero, she might even think she’s dreaming about it but Supergirl is solid and powerful and definitely there, letting small puffs of breath against her pulse point that has her foolish heart rushing.

The blonde finally lowers her to the ground but keeps her hands securely on her waist. She stares at Lena with watery eyes but bright smile.

“Thank you, Lena” she says around her huge smile, and it’s so charming that Lena blushes heavily and shudders involuntarily.

“Sure” she manages to say.

“Are you cold? You want to get inside?” Kara asks, skimming over Lena’s blue tailored dress. Is sinful in so many levels she has to snap her eyes up before she starts drooling, but Lena welcomes her gaze with a knowing smirk that makes it worst.

“Not really” she answers, running her hands along the skirt of the dress mindfully of the Supers response. 

Kara follows the trail her hands make over her thighs, and Lena rises a flirty brow teasingly. The Kryptonian clears her throat loudly, eager to have a single interaction with the youngest Luthor that doesn’t involve her getting lost on the woman’s beauty like an unprofessional creep.

“So, how have you been, really?” Kara inquires.

Lena crosses her arms over her chest and faces the city again “good” is all she says

Kara laughs “just good? Come on, you are the most interesting woman I know, what have you been up to Miss Luthor?”

Lena stance straightens “umm I’ve been working on a new project”

Kara wiggles her eyebrows ridiculously “do tell me about this mysterious project of yours”

Lena chuckles at her antics “it’s…” she gives a nervous side-glance “research and testing, for cancer”

Kara’s mouth gaps “are you telling me you’re trying to cure cancer?”

Lena nods bashfully

“And you called me a hero? Rao, you’re perfect” Kara mumbles and Lena frantically looks away to hide her resurfacing blush.

But then she remembers Adam and feels incredibly guilty. It shows in her face because Kara is already concerned. 

“Lena?” she recognizes that look, is a signature disembodied expression that means Lena has something weighing her down. “What is it?”

“Nothing, I’ve just got a headache,” Lena says, rubbing her temple.

Kara touches the back of the tight bun in her head with a questioning look, Lena nods. Kara works quickly and unties her hair, letting it fall freely over her shoulders. Lena combs her fingers through the black locks and feels a little relief, the blonde is still staring at her worriedly whilst chewing on her bottom lip.

Lena can tell she’s not going to let up easily until she gives her something. But Lena can’t tell her about Adman, she can’t look at her in the eyes and admit she had lied about the Harun-El. Not now that Supergirl finally seems to trust her after the whole Kryptonite debacle. How could she explain to her that she started human trials to create another super powerful being- one that isn’t a hero, one that isn’t like her? How is she going to explain she just killed a boy in her lab last week? How is she going to explain she’s doing the same thing that got Lex incarcerated? She _can’t_.

She tries to give something else instead “I understand what you feel about Krypton.” Kara gives her undivided attention as soon as she starts speaking, Lena leaps before she can overthink it.

“When I was a kid my mother took us on a vacation, with some of her friends I think. It was this house by a lake, I don’t even remember where it was but… my mom wanted to go swimming. I was there, at the shore when she went in, and I stayed there when she went under the water. There weren’t big splashes of water, she didn’t scream or called for someone, she just vanished. I stood there, I knew she wasn’t supposed to be under the water for that long, but I just stood there. I should have cried or ran to her or found help but I didn’t.”

She looks at Supergirl for the first time since her ramble started, sees the stunned face of the superhero.

“I still think I should’ve probably drowned with her” Lena finishes in a dead tone. She should be crying but she isn’t, because all her thoughts are on the last person she told this story to while crying. She doesn’t deserve to cry and pity herself after what she’s done. _Who’s the unreliable liar now?_ A tinny voice mocks her.

“Lena” Kara gulped, taken back by Lena’s admission and uncertain of how to respond.

Lena rises a hand to stop her “don’t worry, it was a long time ago so it doesn’t matter anymore” she lies. Again.

“No, Lena” Kara grabs her hand midair “Lena, that’s awful. I- I am so sorry that happened to you” she stutters. 

Lena tries to retract her hand but Kara holds her firmly “I’m sorry, Lena.” she repeats. It makes her want to run away, somewhere where the Kryptonian can’t look at her like she has done nothing wrong. Because she absolutely has.

Kara grabs her face gently, which pains her more than if she did it forcefully “Lena, there’s no way in hell that what happened to your mother is your fault, okay? You were a kid, what could you have done?”

Lena scoffs “scream, cry, run, you name it”

“Would it have helped her?” Kara asks and Lena stays silent. “There was nothing you could have done so how could it be your fault”

“Just because I couldn’t have saved her doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have tried to. It was sociopathic to just stare at the water as I did!” Lena snaps

Kara shakes her head heatedly “you were a child in shock, it isn’t sociopathic at all- would you blame me?”

“What?” Lena frowns in confusion.

“If I was telling you this, would you blame me for it?” Kara explains.

Lena sighs in exasperation, they’re on a dead end. She doesn’t want this, the hero being nice to her when she doesn’t deserve such comfort but she knows she’s not going to drop it.

“You weren’t responsible for-“Kara gets interrupted by the warmth against her face. The obstacle between her lips won’t allow her to continue. It’s not a soft kiss, on the contrary, it tastes like rage. Lena bites, and Lena pulls on her lips aggressively until Kara moves with her, captive.

Kara backs away momentarily “Lena, what are yo-?” she tries to question but the eager lips return and lock with hers again. Kara kisses back, because how could she not to? She’s been in love with Lena for at least half the duration of their friendship.

After what feels like hours of torturous kissing Lena parts panting, her nails digging into the back of her cape, Kara is speechless and her brain is foggy.

“Take me home” Lena commands, looking very businesslike.

“but-“

“ _Kara_ , _please_. Take me home” she begs this time, hoping she doesn’t have to explain anything. Hoping she can just be close to Kara before she tells her about the trials. Before Kara hates her.

“You know?” blue eyes are wide open in panic. Lena nods and licks into the warmth of Kara’s mouth to kill her anxious questions. Kara moans and leans fully into Lena, feeling consumed.

“ _Please, Kara_ ” Lena plead one last time. Kara can’t resist.

Later, tangled in soft sheets and Kara’s head pillowed over her chest, Lena resolves to tell her the next morning. Today Kara has loved her. Tomorrow Kara will hate her. 


	2. Chapter 2

Kara’s soft whistle makes its way through the open space of the apartment and drills inside Lena’s ears while she fights to look presentable in her now wrinkled dress. It’s a happy melody that she would be ecstatic to hear if the circumstances were different, if she could share breakfast blissfully with the blonde and sneak teasing comments about last night’s activities. But the morning has come and circumstances haven’t changed, in the bright light of day, Lena can’t manage to keep lying.

Her heels click on the wooden floor as she strolls out of the bedroom, following the sound of an unsuspicious Kara. She spots her quickly, swaying happily in front of the stove where she’s making strawberry pancakes, _‘the best ones you’ll ever taste’_ Kara had promised with a kiss before jumping out of the messy bed. 

Kara flips a pancake, landing it directly into the plate on the countertop behind her and Lena almost snorts at the goofiness of a super powerful alien making pancakes in underwear, she’s not wearing her glasses so when she turns around Lena gets greeted by uncontained blue galaxies.

Kara smiles warmly at her, putting a hot cup of coffee in her hands. “Good morning” she says, followed by a small peck on Lena’s lips.

“Just a second, I’m almost done with breakfast” Kara gestures to the table and rushes back to the kitchen. Lena walks to the table and sits in an absent manner, she blinks at the cup on her hands and then at Kara building a stack of pancakes, it’s such a domestic setting Lena flinches internally. It’s like the universe is dangling a perfect fantasy in front of her face just to take it away from her, the ironic part is that she can only blame her own decisions.

“Okay, here you go, best pancakes in National City” Kara slides her a plate and sits in front of her own massive pile, not so subtly moving her chair to be closer to Lena.

“Thanks” Lena says tightly, doubtful she’ll eat anything given that her stomach is twisted as a result of her anxiety.

“Do you have to get to the office? I could fly you over after- you’re frowning, why are you frowning?” Kara lowers her fork.

“Kara I… I need to tell you something” Lena pushes her plate gently to the side.

Kara clasps the hand resting on her knee, her palm spreading warmth over the back of Lena’s “is this about last night? Because I didn’t mean to take things too fast or anything, you know? I want to take you on a proper date and be chivalrous I swear- it’s just that I thought we were on the same page last night and I don’t know you looked so gorgeous in the moonlight that I forgot about everything else and- oh Rao is it about the fact that I am Supergirl? Lena, how I acted about the Kryptonite was so monumentally stupid and I’m so sorry-“

“No, it’s not about that” Lena dismisses. Kara tilts her head in confusion, clearly puzzled by Lena’s behavior.

“Then… was last night a… do you not want this?” the reporter asks signaling between them, looking insecure and somewhat embarrassed. Lena wants to scream that she absolutely does, that she’s never desired anything harder in her life, but that wouldn’t be fair because Kara seems to have feelings for her, maybe even as strong as Lena’s. Can she really confess to Kara how much she loves her just to reveal the dreadful truth closely after? How honest can that even sound to the other woman?

So in exchange, she bites her tongue and dives into the ugly side. “I kept the Harun-El. The cancer research, that’s what I was using it for. I told you and your mom that there wasn’t any more on earth. I lied”

Kara’s neck muscles tense dangerously “what? Lena, I told you it isn’t safe for humans to-“

Lena rises a hand to stop her. “I know what you said. But I saw a chance to improve technology, medicine, the human condition and I had to take it.”

“You could have told me that! We could have worked it out together.” Kara speaks on a tone that is too close to disappointment and retrieves her hand from Lena’s. “There was no reason for you to lie about it”

“Of course there was, you would’ve just gone back to distrusting me like you did with the Kryptonite” Lena retorts, defensive mode kicking in.

“You don’t know that” Kara scolds.  

“Yeah, well, I guess we’ll never truly know” she says before crossing her arms over her chest.

Kara sighs “Lena, I- okay, you want to search a cure for cancer? Sure, as long as it isn’t used for something dangerous I’m fine with it”

Lena sticks her eyes to the floor, shame creeping in. “I’ve started trials”

“Trials? For the cure?” Kara questions.

“No” her hands shake on her lap “there was a…development. It appears the Harun-El is capable of granting superhuman abilities. It’s a massive breakthrough”

“What?” Kara’s face contortions in a displeased expression “Lena, what kind of trials have you been conducting” it’s formulated like a question, but the implication is obvious. Lena stiffens and Kara suddenly knows exactly what kind, she drops heavily into the chair, shocked by the new information.

Lena feels the urge to defend her endeavor “I am trying to push humanity forward, to even out the playing field between aliens and humans. What I am doing could improve lives, maybe even save them, for all I know there could be infinite positive applications for this project”

“What if it goes wrong?” Kara barks with exasperation “have you thought about that? Handing over powers to the wrong people could be disastrous, Lena. Hell, your mom’s done it and she created deadly criminals like Cyborgsuperman and Metallo!”

“Oh, so you just think that I am going to do what Lillian did? Or Lex? Is that who I am to you?” the situation is escalating rather quickly and despite knowing it Lena can’t back down, her body being overtaken by a mix of fear and anger. The mention of her family doesn’t help, instead adding fuel to the fire.

Kara puts her hands up “I didn’t say that”

“No need, I know you thought about it” Lena bites back “I didn’t just kidnaped someone and started poking them with needles, Kara. I am not doing what my brother did, I’ve done everything by the book, my test subject knew the risks and he went under the process willingly under a legal contract. Adam- he was aware of what could happen”

“He... _was_?” Kara uttered, face livid.

Lena swallows a lump on her throat the size of a brick. Kara stares at her in a terrified fashion that is deemed to haunt her forever, her blue eyes are watering fast and she tries to dissimulate by looking around her apartment. Lena grips tightly onto her wrist until it hurts, the fight leaves her and all that’s left is the knowledge that Kara thinks she’s unredeemable. It’s a notion that slides into her heart like a scorching knife and Lena can’t handle to be in the same space any longer when her own eyes start to ache.

“I have to go” Lena says, jumping out of the seat to fetch her purse and coat.

“Lena!” Kara calls, but the brunette is already slamming the door behind her. She hears the frenetic clicking of the elevator button and then the sobs Lena allows to slip once the metal doors close. Her body awakens from its frozen state and she stars to stand up with the intention to follow, she grabs the top rail of the chair and her hand crushes it, the momentum makes her fall. Lena’s sobs get lost into the cacophony of sounds that overwhelm her, breathing growing rapid and shallow. Kara tries to stand and follow her but the world seems blurry and she’s lightheaded, so she sinks on the floor surrounded by the fragments of the wooden chair.

The pancakes stare at her from the table, cold and forgotten.

 

Lena walks two blocks before she starts thinking at all, stumbling among the crowd of people whose lives haven’t been turned upside down. When she finally stops it takes her several minutes to even recognize here she’s standing, but once she figures it out she dials her driver.

She retains her panic enough to reach her apartment and then she locks herself in the bathroom. Her clothes reek of Kara so she takes them off like they’re burning, stepping into the shower. Memories don’t just scrub away but god does she try anyways. She doesn’t know what she wants to forget more, the night or the morning. Probably both.

She’s absent enough to slide down the wall and sit under the cold water as her mind floods with flashes. Kara snoring into her chest. Kara making her breakfast. Kara looking at her like she’s a ticking bomb. When she regains a little awareness she’s shivering and crying, the wet hard tiles pressing uncomfortably against her skin.

It takes her another ten minutes to be able to stand up and get out of the shower, mostly persuaded by the idea of a bottle of wine. She pours the red liquid into a glass and empties it in a single swing before refilling it.

The bitterness of the wine matches exquisitely with her own. If she were to say she doesn’t regret telling Kara the truth, she’d be lying or merely fooling herself because she does. As soon as she’d let out those fatidic words her heart had begged her to take them back, to allow the fantasy last a little while longer, even if it didn’t feel quite right. And yet her brain hadn’t agreed, because having Kara through lies screamed of betrayal, dishonesty, manipulation and all of the Luthor-like traits Lena hates so much. The things she’s been trying to defy her whole life.

Regardless, Kara had looked at her like she was a Luthor anyway. Which Lena had expected, however, she wasn’t nearly ready for how shitty it would be. Sure, Kara had been angry when Lena revealed to be making kryptonite to help Sam, but that was far from the utter disappointment she had shown today. It was like Kara couldn’t even recognize the person sitting in front of her.

In the midst of her anger Lena had thought Kara’s words sounded righteous and unfounded, something someone with a god complex would have said to remain special. But now, in the quiet of her apartment, it echoes in her head that if Kara- the most moral person she knows- thinks that it is wrong, that it resembles in any shape or form to what her mother or brother had done then… it could be true. And then there’s Adam, a responsibility she can’t shake, an undeniable reality: she had killed him. In her head it doesn’t matter that he told her it was okay, because the final decision had been hers to make, she was the one to send black liquid swerving into his veins. She had taken the gamble, and he had paid with his life for it.

Her thoughts get interrupted when a sharp ringing erupts from the living room. She shrinks at the possibility that Kara might be calling until she remembers is almost ten on a Thursday and she’s yet to show up for work. She strolls languidly to the couch where she’d dropped her purse and retrieves her phone, the call ends before she can answer it and Lena catches a glimpse of her notifications, there’s 25 missing calls and 40 texts. Some form her assistant and others, more worriedly, are from her security department, she’s about to check them when her phone starts ringing again.

“Eve? What’s going on?” Lena inquires.

“Miss Luthor, I’ve been trying to contact you all morning! There’s been an incident at L-corp, we don’t know who it was but someone hacked into the system in the evening” Eve explains rapidly.

“What? How did they even managed to beat our encryption code?” only someone with her luck would miss a morning of work and have all hell breaking loose on their company. 

“we don’t know, the team is on it but it looks like they had some mad resources and someone with a humongous IQ”

Lena drains the last of her wine “okay, I’m on my way there. Any idea of what were they looking for?”

“They were digging into your private files, mostly the laboratory and the surveillance of your office“ Eve informs.

“Why would they want the surveillance-“

The door of her apartment bursts open so violently it makes her drop her phone. Lena sees the barrel of a gun first and then the man carrying it, dressed in all black tactical gear behind her other figures she doesn’t have time to take in. She launches forward and unsheathes the gun under the coffee table, and she points it in the general direction of the door, not sure who is she going to shoot first because there are at least six people entering her apartment and pointing at her back with assault rifles.

“Put the gun down” the man shouts, inching slowly closer.

Lena resists the urge to step back and stands her ground “I like my gun where it is” she spits.

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be” he says, aiming the rifle higher.

She thinks about it, if they were here to kill her they would’ve shot already. Even with her gun out, Lena would barely get to hit two or three targets before the rest are on top of her so logically she should cooperate, but she’s feeling rather reckless today.

“Me? I’m not the one invading private property and taking doors off their hinges, how impolite of you” Lena responds, index firmly on the trigger.

“We will use force if necessary” he warns.

 “And I shall return it accordingly” Lena states sternly. The man moves after a second, taking two heavy steps towards her and Lena is ready to pull the trigger by the third, but all of a sudden there’s an explosion of glass behind her. A blur of blue and red makes an appearance accompanied by a gush of wind that sways her slightly, in a second the man is laying on the floor, grunting.

Kara spares a quick worried look over her shoulder and then with another skim of super speed the other six gunmen are down, then she rushes back to Lena.

“We have to go, like right now” the superhero says, signaling nervously at the unconscious soldiers “back up is already on the way”

“What?” Lena says, stunned “back up from where?”

“From the DEO, Coronel Hayley sent them” Kara explains, tugging her by the wrist.

“Who the fuck is Coronel Hayley?” she demands, annoyed by the lack of information.

Kara turns to face her “I’ll explain later. We need to leave now, Lena”

Lena thinks about it approximately 3.2 seconds “okay, hang on” Lena runs over to her room and Kara whines. She picks up the files in her safe and shoves them into her purse, along with her gun and phone, but most importantly she puts some clothes on (she must’ve looked ridiculous pointing a gun in her fluffy Gucci robe). Kara screams for her to put on a jacket and a beanie form the living room, so she does, adding gloves and a scarf for good measure.

“Okay we can go now” she says five minutes later. Kara picks her up immediately and rushes over to the balcony, red boots crushing the broken glass.

“sorry about your emm balcony door” she says apologetically “alright, face against my neck”

Lena blushes “what- why?”

Kara rolls her eyes “I’ve never carried you this far before, and the wind is going to be harsh. I don’t want you to get cold burns, I should be warm enough”

Lena obeys, pressing tightly against the warms skin swearing she feels Kara shuddering a little. The Kryptonian secures her grip on Lena and flies off the balcony. Thirty seconds later another group of armed men slithers through the threshold only to find them missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, it seems I will be continuing this madness. apologies in advance.


	3. Chapter 3

Lena spends the next fifteen minutes feeling pretty much miserable. Not because of the howling wind, the cold or the terrifying height she frequently catches glimpses of, but because the whole ride she has to stay still while Kara cradles her in her strong arms and bury her face on the crook of her neck. Any other day this would’ve been a dream, preferably a day where she hadn’t just ruined her last true friendship and been chased out of her apartment by a DEO strike team.

There is a weird sarcastic thing to it, her life has taken a weird 360-degree turn and now she’s back where the day started, wrapped in Kara’s arms. To say she’s confused is an understatement, at first she had thought that Lex was back to cross her off his list, but then again he had never gone for the military approach in his previous attempts to kill her.  And then Kara had said it was the DEO, which also makes zero sense to her. She had just worked with the DEO last year to defeat Reign and to clean the atmosphere of kryptonite, besides Alex is the current director of the DEO and Lena doesn’t understand why the woman who she’d played charades with during thanksgiving would want her dead or captured. 

Therefore, she’s left with her last option: they know about the Harun-El experiments. Her assumption is that they must have been the ones to hack her laboratory files, but for that they needed to know Lena was conducting such experiment in the first place and she had made sure to work in secrecy, only reeling on Eve. Plus she hid those files under tons of encrypted code of her own making. Did Eve sell her out? No, that’s unlikely. And why had they searched for her office surveillance instead of the lab? In conclusion, what the fuck.

Her internal deliberation quiets down when she feels Kara slow down, finally lowering to the ground. She helps Lena on her feet carefully and walks off, Lena is extremely glad to be on solid land before her body register the temperature drop once Kara’s Kryptonian warmth is unavailable, condensation leaves her mouth as she breathes, around them white spreads into the horizon for miles below. they're in a cliff, so much for solid ground _,_ Lena thinks.  

They're in the middle of the artic, Lena hugs herself and turns around in the direction of the wandering superhero. Kara is a couple feet away, looking small in comparison to the big formation of ice that stands behind her.

“you could have warned me where we were going!” she shouts over the wind, her running shoes sinking in the snow as she makes her way over.

“Yeah no, I didn’t feel like letting Hayley know where we were heading. Those agents were wired up, she probably was listening to the whole thing” Kara says, bending down over a pile of snow and brushing it until a golden shimmer is visible.

“I am freezing” Lena bounces on her tiptoes.

Kara uncovers the large tubular shape that’s hiding under the snow “sorry, I wanted to tell you to bring warmer clothes but I was afraid they would figure it out somehow” Lena sees the crest of El carved into the golden metal, Kara’s biceps flex ridiculously as she picks it up and Lena looks away to a particularly interesting piece of snow.

Kara presses the sigil against a dent on the ice, a blue glow cursing through the ice as it moves to reveal an entrance. The key gets tossed back into the snow and Kara urges her to get in.

Lena’s brain still spins as she sees the place despite being here briefly during the Daximite invasion when Kara had saved her from Rhea’s plans to force marry her with… Kara’s ex. What a weird life is she living, Lena thinks.

“Welcome to the fortress of solitude” Kara says tiredly, stepping into the big space. Out of danger, their earlier argument comes back in full swing to dictate their mood, the energy between them is a tense mass of unsaid things.

Lena clears her throat awkwardly “I- thank you for saving me from whatever that was”

Kara makes a non-committal noise that feels like a slap in the face, so Lena follows behind her and stares vacantly at the crystal spikes and the monumental statues that guard the fortress. Standing in the control pad Kara pushes a couple of buttons with symbols Lena assumes are Kryptonian, moments later the cold fades away to a more tolerable temperature and Lena feels the blood returning to her hands.

Kara speaks without facing her “is that warm enough?”

“Yes, thank you” Lena responds politely.

Kara makes another couple adjustments and then leads her to a section in the far back she hadn’t seen before. There’s a mix of alien furniture and some random earthly things like a pinball machine, a TV and a refrigerator, it gives Lena the sensation of being in a fabricated dollhouse. At the right there’s a hallway Lena guesses leads to other rooms, she sits on a crystal thingy that resembles a chair putting her purse on the wooden table. Kara sticks her head into the refrigerator, as is expected, but groans unhappily.

“I’ll have to make a trip for groceries” she announces, but pulls out a six-pack and sits on the chair in front of Lena’s. Sliding her a beer over the table, it’s cheap and tastes like bad college decisions but Lena chugs it down gratefully.

“So who is this Coronel Hayley who wants me dead?” Lena asks to break the intense silence.

“I’d say she’s my own personal curse” Kara waves her beer theatrically. “She’s a supervisor from the presidential office. I thought she was cool for a while but now she’s all Dolores Umbridge trying to bust my secret Dumbledore army”

Lena resists a giggle, Kara had sat her down to watch the Harry Potter movies a while ago, upset she would never get her references.

“So, translating, she wants to know who you are under the cape. Was she the one to fire you?”

Kara’s shoulders drop “No. the president fired me”

Lena almost chokes on her drink “as in the president of the United States? Damn, I knew he was a dickhead. We should’ve kept Olivia as our president” Kara nods and takes a sip of her beer, the muscles on her neck highly distracting to Lena.

“Kara, I need to know what’s going on” she said, seriously “I have the feeling you know what’s happening.”

The Kryptonian plays with her hands idly “the DEO wants you in their custody so  they can interrogate you”

“Interrogate me about what?” Lena asked. 

Kara gave her a guilty look “about me. About my identity”

Oh. So this wasn’t about her at all, _how self-centered of you_ “I thought it was about my experiments” she said, but quickly regretted it when Kara visibly tensed “I mean, what reason do they have to believe I know and if they wanted to ask me about it wouldn’t they just use regular conduct instead of flagrant abduction?” she pointed out, irritated. Were human rights not applicable to her because of her last name?

“I suppose they were going to but then…” Kara lets the phrase hanging “listen, Hayley is completely obsessed with knowing who Supergirl is. She already interrogated agents at the DEO, so her next move was to go for people close to Supergirl”

“Okay, so… me?” there is no denying it, the gossip columns have a feast with their interactions every time they’re seen together.

Kara nods “they hacked you”

“I figured so, who else could have breached my- what?” Lena looks curiously how Kara squirms in her chair and a realization it hits her. “That’s why they entered the surveillance footage of my office! To see if you had visited me and-“Lena feels dread filling her body. She only placed cameras on her office after Lillian had sent idiots to kidnap her, who almost slammed her into the pavement form her skyscraper. Kara had saved her, again. So Lena placed surveillance equipment in her office and…shit. In the balcony.

If they had hacked her in the evening and accessed the system undetected, then they had been _watching_. Watching them that night, a live feed of their talk, of Kara crying while Lena comforted her. Of Lena diving into the hero’s mouth until she agreed to take her home.

Kara twirls her beer bottle nervously “they saw and I guess they thought it was obvious you must’ve known who I was since…” Kara gives her a side glance “well, you know.”

Lena fights a wild blush, brushing her hair with one hand “how do you know all of this?”

“I heard some of it but mostly it was Brainy, he’s kind of my inside man. He also did most of the hacking” Lena rises an eyebrow and Kara tries to justify it “under direct orders of Hayley, of course.” 

Lena is impressed with the amount of control this Hayley woman has managed to gain over the DEO, Alex must be losing her marbles, the redhead can’t even handle being sent to jail in monopoly and being this is about Kara’s safety she must be substantially pissed.

“She was going to call you for interrogation. It wasn’t until they stumbled on your lab records that she sent a unit to your house” Kara adds. “Brainy actually hid the umm, the trails. All she knows is that you have Harun-El, but that’s enough to indict you”

Lena’s eyes widen “indict me of what?”

“Well, you got the Harun-El from me, and I was recovering it as an employee using DEO resources for a DEO directed mission. It’s technically their property and you stole it” Kara says simply.

“What? No, no, no. I synthesized it using L-corp technology, I made it” Lena argues.

“Sure, but you synthesized it using the original one they gave you for Reign. Didn’t you?” it sounds accusatory and Lena doesn’t like it, she also doesn’t know how to deny it. They can easily arrest her over those allegations and with the president backing them up she’s likely to end up locked up. It’s only going to get worse if they find out about the human trials, for all she knows they might put her in a cell with Lex.

Lena laughs, of course, this would happen to her. How fucking dumb of her to think she could change the world for better.

“Lena?” Kara calls softly, her body leaning forward like she wants to reach out. “hey, we’ll figure this out okay? You’ve been accused falsely before and we managed. It’ll be fine”

Is she seriously saying things are goignt to be okay?

“I wasn’t guilty that time” Lena reports motionlessly.

“Oh, screw you!” Kara shouts. Lena is surprised by the sudden outburst.

“Pardon me?”

“I said screw you” Kara says, slapping the table angrily causing their beers to tremble. She points at Lena “you were fighting with me over this four hours ago, telling me how you had done everything legally. If you can put me over your work, you can for sure fight these people.”

“Kara, I didn’t mean to-“Lena starts.

“No. we’re not talking about _that_. Just… stop whining and work out a solution. You’re smart so act smart.” Kara’s words are delivered with rage, and Lena is not sure if she’s really expressing the real reason she’s mad.

“I’m going to get food.” Kara announces before taking off, leaving Lena to stare behind her.

 _That went great_ , a tiny voice mocks. Lena brushes it off and starts pacing to distract the urge to have a mental breakdown, she wants to slap herself in the face. She’s so down into the self-deprecating black hole that she doesn’t notice the figure approaching her until it’s directly beside her.

She squeaks embarrassingly at the machine floating a foot away from her, hand clutching her chest. “Oh dear god” she mutters.

“Kara Zor-El has instructed me to assist you whenever you wish” the robotic voice sounds gentler than Lena had expected, she observes the semi-humanoid form of the robot (except for the lack of legs) wondering what’s its power source.

“um okay. Do you like, have a name or something?” Lena asks, still startled.

After introducing himself, Kelex takes her to a room that Kara has apparently assigned for her. It’s a vast round room that makes her feel like she’s in the inside of a wheel or something more Kara-like, a donut. Besides the shape and the futuristic-looking lamps, the walls are constructed from the same mandatory crystal as the rest of the fortress and there’s a couple of surfaces that look suspiciously like wood but feel cold like metal to the touch. The bed still looks like a bed, and she doesn’t really need to think that hard to understand what things are, it sort of gives her vibes of minimalistic Japanese architecture, just more circular.

“Is this a standard Kryptonian bedroom?” she asks, inspecting the space.

“Yes” Kelex responds behind her.

“Does Kara have a room?” Lena touches the incredibly soft pillows, trying to sound apathetic although she doubts the robot will care about her being noisy.

“Both Kara Zor-El and Kal-El have their own rooms” Kelex states.

Lena nods “thank you, Kelex. I think I can manage for now”

The robot leaves with a promise to be available for any of he needs. Lena drops face first into the mattress and groans into the sheaths. She’s stuck on the middle of the artic after abandoning her company, persecuted by some mad woman and a whole super-secret organization, and the cherry on top is that she’s trapped in the care of Kara, who is clearly not happy about being around her.

And things are only going to get rockier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, i went overboard last night and wrote a little too much so I'm splitting it into two chapters


	4. Chapter 4

Kara comes back about an hour later bearing food and other supplies. When Lena asks how she made it so fast Kara shrugs and responds ‘I go faster without you’ it sounds so harsh that Lena doesn’t say another word as they eat lunch.

Shortly after, Kara excuses herself and says she has to show up for work at Catco. Lena thanks her for the food and watches her go, regret at the forefront of her mind. Clearly, she’s messed things up between them, big time.

 So the next couple of days are a blur and also sluggish. Kara comes and goes to keep the appearances at work as Kara Danvers, but she sleeps on the fortress in the room next to Lena’s. They make small chats occasionally over banal things unless Kara has some update on Hayley but nothing major.

Lena had admittedly tried to contact someone at L-corp but it turns out you don’t really get a good signal on the artic. Form what Kara tells her, Sam has taken over as temporal CEO in Lena’s absence when the reporter had informed her of the situation, so her company is not sinking. However, Hayley has fared to take over her laboratory for an ‘ongoing federal investigation’ and is digging around so hard that even a twelve level intellect like Brainy is having a hard time covering up the Adam situation.

She’s been trying to fabricate a solution to their problem, something that makes Hayley stop lurking around for incriminating things she can hold over Lena. To be honest, they already have her in a legal loop that ensures she’s going to get arrested and incarcerated, the only thing Lena has to offer is Kara’s identity, but she’d rather go to prison than give that woman what she wants. 

She spends her days pacing around, reading or watching the dvds of various shows Kara has staked beside the TV. She talks to Kelex when she’s feeling lonely, probes about Kryptonian history and culture, and tries not to feel like she’s invading Kara’s privacy by asking about a world that isn’t hers.

By the third day, Lena is feeling like a caged animal, not accustomed to just being. She has no work to do, no emails to check, no meetings to attend, no wine to drink. It’s a fucking nightmare. The nights and the days blend into a perpetual state of stillness that unsettles her to the core, especially because there are no windows and she really doesn’t have any idea of how to open the door.

“Hey” Kara exiting her room and finding Lena reading in the main room laying on a yellow beanbag, wearing some of the casual clothing Kara had bought her. Lena had tried to pay for it but Kara had reminded her that the DEO was probably keeping track of her transactions, which means she is living out of Kara’s money, which also means that Lena feels very much like a leech.

“Hey” she says whilst closing her book. It’s Sunday so Kara doesn’t really have anywhere to be apart from Supergirl duty, apparently, she can make her way back to National City in a third of the time by herself, so she’s only five minutes away.

“Have you eaten something yet?” Kara asks.

Lena thinks about it, then shakes her head. During the last three days she has taken to making dinner for the both of them in the small Kryptonian kitchen (she almost set it on fire in her first try), but since Kara was out with Alex last night, she hadn’t found any will to do it. She’d been waiting for Kara to wake up so they could have breakfast together.

Kara gives her a pointed look like she’s scanning for something specific. “Can you get dressed?” the question makes Lena glance at her clothes, sweatpants and a black tank top.

“Why?” Lena asks, _does she really look that bad_?

“I’m taking you out. For breakfast” Kara responds.

Lena blinks in disbelief “really?” 

Kara smiles softly, it almost feels like they are friends again. “Yeah”

Lena takes a quick bath (because Kryptonians don’t have showers) and puts on her jeans and jacket from the night of the impromptu scape, plus a thin green sweater Kara got for her. When she meets the blonde at the gate, Kara slides a baseball cap on her head.

“It’s Kal’s, but I don’t think he’ll mind” Kara says before picking her up.

They land shortly after in an alley between two small buildings, fixing their windswept hair before walking out, side by side. Lena almost gets scared at the view of other living people that aren’t Kara, the fact is the fortress is so quiet the street feels drastically loud in comparison, though Lena catches almost immediately that they aren’t in National City.

“Where are we?” she whispers.

Kara smirks, getting closer so that their hands almost touch as they walk “we’re in Toronto, Kensington Market to be exact.”

Of course Kara would take her to Canada for breakfast, the home of pancakes dripping in maple syrup. They make their way through the streets in the lookout for a café, when they find one Kara holds the door open for Lena and they sit in a small table against a window. 

As they wait for their order, Lena can’t take her eyes away from the other woman. Kara is wearing her usual half up/half down hair-do, a navy blue button down inside her high waisted light jeans, the sun giving her a heavenly glow. Lena’s hands itch to touch her, to convince her brain she’s not some hallucination. 

Kara finally catches her looking and Lena turns her head towards the window in an effort to play it cool.

Eventually, she finds something to say “So how was yesterday?”

“Good. It was good” Kara answers, pushing the glasses up her nose. There’s an awkward pause Lena is dying to fill, Kara beats her at it. “I finished my article for Catco, the one I told you about.”

“I knew you would get over that mental block” Lena states proudly.

Kara scrunches her nose “yeah you did, smarty pants”

“How was sister night?”

A gloomy expression passes briefly over Kara’s face.

“It was nice, lots of food and warm blankets.” The blonde accompanies the comment with a mindless hand gesture.

Lena starts to fiddle with the salt shaker “how about Alex? Haven’t heard from her in a while, maybe you could bring her over next time” she’s cautious not to sound too desperate for human interaction. 

Kara bites the inside of her cheek at the suggestion “I’ll make sure to relay that message” Lena can tell Kara is holding something back but she doesn’t push, this is the more amicable they’ve been in a while.

For Kara's benefit, she switches subjects “Hayley?”

“Annoying as always. There was a rogue telepath yesterday and she showed up all smug about it, ‘this is DEO jurisdiction, you can’t be here’ like I hadn’t just saved a bunch of people that would’ve died otherwise” Kara complains.

“And you told her to fuck off”

“Lena!” Kara looks at the other tables, scandalized by her language.

Lena shrugs “what? I would’ve done it”

“I bet you would’ve” Kara tilts her head and squints, maybe it’s meant to be severe but it comes out more playful. It’s the Kara she used to have brunch with, open and sweet, Lena hasn’t seen this Kara since Thursday morning and how has she missed her.

After breakfast Kara shows her around to the many entertainments of the market, the organic fruit stands, the small international cuisine restaurants and the vintage clothing sales around the streets. It’s a tranquil experience, to mix with the flow of locals and tourists, hearing to Kara talk freely as if somehow outside of the fortress it's easier to pretend for a while that everything is as it had been before, intact.

Around noon Kara flies off to tend a fire back home, Lena assures her she’ll be fine. Lena distracts herself on a small bookshop and then an antique store. when the reporter comes back half an hour later Lena scrubs the ash from her cheek with a laugh and they go find a lunch place on Chinatown. Lena pays their food with a couple hundreds she had found earlier in her purse and the cashier doesn’t complain even though they are U.S dollars.

They end up sitting in Phillips Square downtown, side by side watching as people come and go with the bohemian buildings on the surroundings. Lena rocks her feet back and forth, feeling like a kid on a surprise trip.

“They use it as a skating rink in winter” Kara points at the shallow pool in the middle of the square.

“You come here often?” Lena inquiries.

Kara leans back balancing on her hands “every now and then. I like the vibe, half percent of the population are immigrants and-- twenty percent are aliens” she adds in a whisper charged with complicity.

Lena makes a thorough swipe to the people around them and wonders how many aliens are sharing a quiet afternoon with them. “Feels homier?”

“In a different way, yes.” Kara replies. “Had you been here before?”

Lena nods “for business reasons, I didn’t have the chance to walk around. It’s actually a really charming city”

Kara checks her watch and frowns “it’s almost four, we should get going before the road starts to get too cold. You didn’t bring gloves” she points to Lena's hands.

Lena stands up “you think Hayley will know we were here?”

Kara examines her face, her inky hair cascades under the baseball cap,mconcealing her face slightly and the casual outfit gives her a younger air.

“I don’t think so. We paid in cash and nobody recognized you, there’s no trail for her to follow” Kara concludes.

Back at the fortress of solitude, Lena insists on making dinner and kicks Kara out of the kitchen when she starts stealing ingredients and eating them, it’s like cooking for a handsy raccoon. Ultimately, the blonde settles for watching some TV and leaves her to work, whining about her being a ‘party pooper’.

Lena doesn’t mind, way too happy with the events of the day. Just being outside had improved her mood considerably and adding Kara to that equation has her in a dreamy state, is not the same as their effortless relationship from before but it’s pretty close.

“Look what I found” Lena turns around.

 Kara is holding a bottle of white wine, her button-down has two unmade buttons that let Lena witness the tempting curve of her clavicles, the sleeves have been pushed up revealing her chiseled forearms and her hair is up in a messy bun making it easier to get lost in the sharp line of her jaw.

Lena feels the pan slip from her grip and off the stove. Kara is there in a second catching it easily, unbothered by the sizzling metal.

“I know you love wine but I didn’t think you would get this excited” Kara laughs.

Lena blinks up at her “sorry, I- didn’t hear you coming” it’s a half-truth, but she can’t exactly tell Kara she was startled by how amazingly good she looks. “I’m almost done so emm -”

“I’ll set the table” Kara offers, reaching behind her for glasses. The movement lets them incredibly close, hips brushing for a second then Kara is moving away with a kind smile and Lena is left to her rapidly breathing heart.

She still hates you, Lena has to remind herself. Locking in a box her pathetic urge to tell Kara she loves her hair like that- the way it frames her blue eyes- she composes herself and finishes plating the food before meeting Kara at the table.

Kara compliments her cooking, asking for a second round and then a third, happily shoveling bites into her mouth. Lena is less focused on the food and more on overthinking Kara’s actions, she had been nicer to her today than she’s been in the last three days without explanation. Lovely, but bizarre. Maybe Kara wasn’t really built to be mean, regardless, Lena doesn’t want to screw it up.

“Kara?” she calls after dinners done. The blonde lays down her glass of wine and motions for her to continue “I just wanted to thank you for you know, Toronto. It was really nice to have some time outside”

“Of course, you looked a little under the weather” Kara answers “I know confinement isn’t a good feeling”

“Still, it was a very kind of you.” Lena slides her hand inside the pocket of her jacket and pulls out a silky fabric, the thin blue scarf has little Supergirl symbols printed on. “I found it while you were putting out the fire.” She says, standing and making her way around the table to stop in front of Kara.

“I know it’s kind of corny but- I just thought it would be a good thank you gift” Lena wraps the scarf gently around her neck. “So, thank you.”

Kara raises her head and stares bashfully into green eyes her right hand clinging to the fabric, mouth agape trying to find something to say. This is exactly why she’s been avoiding spending too much time with Lena, to dodge all of the endearing things the other woman does for her. She could handle Lena making her dinner, even after kara treated her coldly, because that was just half an hour of contact. This morning she hadn’t been able to turn a blind eye to how restless Lena was, so she promised herself to cut her some slack just for the day.

And now here she is, getting lost in the emerald green of her gaze, thinking maybe they can go back. Maybe heroes don’t turn into villains in the blink of an eye and she can rescue whatever there was between them. But then Lena speaks with remorse coating her tone and Kara remembers.

“About that night… Kara, I’m so-“

Kara gets up, making the chair creak “Don’t say it. Don’t you dare say it”

Lena’s bottom lip trembles. Kara can’t watch, she moves towards the corridor with swift steps. 

“ _Kara, please_ ” it’s a breathy whisper. It sounds too much like it had in the unlit balcony of Lena's office. In the safety of Kara's bed, as perfectly manicured nails scraped her sides.

“I don’t want to hear it, Lena” Kara barks, slamming the door of her room closed. She hears Lena lean against it, sobbing quietly.

“ _Please, Kara_. _I’m sorry_ ” her voice is broken, not meant to be heard, but Kara is cursed and hears it from the floor of her bathroom.

She fights the instinct of protectiveness, the primal necessity to open the door and hold the crying woman. Kara has never been selfish, but she chooses to protect herself this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know if this is still interesting because i don't know


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my brain decided we were going to be writing fluff, so here's that for a change.

Kara leaves her bed when the first ring of her alarm goes off and she can’t say she has woken up, because she didn’t sleep at all. Instead, she had been rolling around and listening to the sounds coming from outside her door. Lena stayed in the hallway for a while, quietly crying. Then she had stumbled into her room and stayed there, wide awake judging by the patron of her breathing.

Around four am Kara finally felt her dozing off. Her feet carried her almost by accident to the threshold of Lena’s room, in the darkness she makes up the figure of the sleeping CEO there’s a frown on her forehead and dark circles under her closed eyes. It made her feel like a total jerk. 

Right now, Kara can hear her moving stuff around in the kitchen. It’s six o’clock, so she starts getting ready for work. Soaking in the water of the oval-shaped plunge bath, she thinks about the events of yesterday, they’ve been looping on repeat all night long.  She understands the whim of her actions, running away from conversations isn’t that uncharacteristically of her, especially if she feels hurt.

The fact that she’s hurt Lena in the process is like a bucket of cold water being thrown at her face. Her species had always been a prideful one, the house of El even more so. The girl of steel isn’t supposed to bend for anyone, and yet as she walks into the sight of Lena serving breakfast barefoot, her steel melts.

Lena throws a general glance in her direction but doesn’t quite look at Kara “hi, I made eggs and bacon, there’s coffee in the pot”

Kara pours herself a cup of coffee and watches Lena’s meticulous movements “thanks”

She’s about to start digging into her first plate when she notices Lena hasn’t sat down, she turns around and finds her standing idly in the kitchen.

“What are you doing?” Kara asks, dropping her fork.

“I wasn’t sure you’d want to share the table today” Lena responds like it’s an obvious thing.

Kara drops her fork and marches to the kitchen, finding a plate. “Go sit, please” the shorter girl frowns at the floor but goes to sit on the table.  Kara makes a quick work of Lena’s (smaller) portion and makes her way back to the table, she makes another trip to refill their cups of coffee.

Lena murmurs a ‘thank you’ and they eat in silence. When they’re done the brunette tries to pick up the dishes before Kara stops her to do it herself, when she comes back Lena is tense like she’s expecting Kara to kick her out.

“We need to talk” Kara says

Lena looks at her face for the first time this morning “we don’t have to” she offers.

Kara shakes her head, then moves her chair to face Lena without the obstacle of the table. She sits, her knees are a few inches apart from touching Lena’s.

She inhales deeply and prays for this conversation to go mildly right.

“yesterday…I shouldn’t have stormed off like that” she starts “it wasn’t right to just hide from you and I’m really sorry”

Lena jumps in “no, you’re allowed to be mad. My behavior wasn’t spectacular either when, _you know_. I ran too”

Kara laughs humorlessly “I guess we both know which instinct wins in our fight-or-flight response”

“I mean, we did do a bit of fighting before, so…” Lena says with a broody pout.

“I would like to stop doing that, I hate fighting with you” Kara sighs. She’s tired of it, of stepping carefully around the person that’s supposed to be her best friend because of this huge elephant in the room they’ve refused to discuss.

Lena feels her hopes getting higher at Kara’s display of honesty, is a good first step for them to finally say what they’ve been wanting to.

“I would like that too” she says, voice thick with relief. Then she sits straighter, she wants Kara to voice the thing that’s been eating her up. “Kara, just tell me”

The blonde is hesitant “I don’t want to make this only about me or putting all the blame on you”

Lena smiles “you won’t be”

Kara glared for a full minute, then spoke shakily “you left me, Lena. I told you all of these things about me that night, things I’ve never told anybody. You _slept_ with me, decided to drop a bunch of mind-blowing information and then left” blue eyes water while Kara grips tightly at the fabric of her slacks.

Lena bites the inside of her cheek, she wants to reach out but isn’t sure Kara wants her to. She’s about to speak when Kara realizes she’s not done yet and starts to rant.

“I-I wanted to take you on a date, you know? Because you’re so awesome and I want you so much, all the time. To be honest I’ve never felt like this with anyone. Like I belong, like I don’t need to hide. I was going to tell you that after we were done with breakfast but we never got there.” Kara sniffles a little “and I was going to apologize for lying to you about Supergirl and being a jerk about the Kryptonite, Rao I’m so sorry about that, Lee – I didn’t want to hurt you. I never want to do that. But you left and I-I didn’t know how to process that” her vision gets blurry, so Kara ducks her head.

Lena can’t stay in her chair any longer so she squats in the small space between Kara’s legs, catches her teary eyes with a watery look of her own and compels the Kryptonian’s fisted hands to become more pliable, into something she can hold.

“I’m sorry, Kara” she whispers “I’m sorry. I should have told you about the Harun-El, I should have trusted you and I shouldn’t have had sex with you when there was this huge thing you weren’t aware of. There’s no excuse for that, but I want you to know that I didn’t leave because I didn’t want you. I was just terrified you'd hate me” Lena says firmly “God, Kara, I don’t even understand wanting this way, it feels like my heart might burst out of my chest, I-“three very loud words want to escape from her mouth. She wants to say it. In her head, she’s already said them a million times. Is it emotional blackmail if she says it in the middle of an apology?

Kara angles herself closer, hovering above Lena with her perfect blonde curls falling over her shoulders. Lena wipes a solitary tear and wonders how had she ever existed in a world without Kara Danvers. 

Surrendering comes easy, she lets the words materialize. “ _I love you_ ” her voice is a little strained with emotion, but she sees the acknowledgment spreading through Kara’s face.

Kara goes from confusion to surprise and then to disbelief, Lena can see her brain gears turning. They’ve said the words before, it’s the new context that makes it feel like uncharted territory. Lena can count in one finger the number of people she’s delivered those words to in her life: her biological mother, Lex, Jack, and Kara. Only one of those people is alive, it makes her question whether she’s doomed by some sick joke of the universe. If she loses Kara… she’s not sure what would be left of her, probably an empty workaholic shell.

“I mean it, Kara. I love you” Lena speaks vehemently “I don’t know if right now it’s an appropriate time to say it, and I am not trying to make you forgive me- I just, I love you so much” she drops her head on Kara’s knee, breathing rapidly.

Has she screwed things even more?

Kara pushes on her shoulders till Lena has no choice but straighten her stance and face her. There’s a light blush over the Kryptonian skin accompanied by a bewildered expression, her mouth is slightly open and Lena catches a peak of her tongue trapped behind rosy lips. Kara brushes her thumb over an ebony brow and down the line of her cheekbone gently like she’s touching something marvelous, Lena’s eyelids flutter at the softness of it.

“Say it again?” Kara asks in a disbelieving tone.

“I love you. I’m in love with you” Lena answers resolutely and chases the warm hand on her cheek to kiss it. 

Kara laughs, freely and loud like she always does around her. The mere sound feels like absolution.

“Rao, I love you too, so much” she squeals, crouching down in pursuit of Lena’s lips. Lena meets her diligently halfway. It’s softer than their first kiss, less urgent and more slothful in the most wonderful way possible, Lena can’t even think about anything at all, instead, letting muscle memory to do all the work.  

Apparently, muscle memory includes hopping into Kara’s lap because that’s where she is at the moment. Kara only hums happily into her mouth and loops her arms around Lena’s waist to keep her in place, not that she was planning on ever moving. Ultimately its Lena’s human lungs what forces them to separate, Kara doesn’t relent on her grip so she makes no effort to back away instead slotting her body closer.

“wow” Kara mutters, cutely out of breath.

 “wow is accurate” Lena says equally affected.

The blonde nuzzles the side of her face “can we stay like this forever?” 

“Not if you want to get to work” Lena reminds her, and the reporter groans. “But I’ll be here when you come back” she promises.

Kara perks up, smiling widely “I can take you out for dinner!”

Lena steals a small peck “I’d like that a lot, although I’m afraid I’ll be lacking in attire”

“Missing your designer clothes much?” Kara teases, but then she holds her waist a little tighter “I like the more casual you, it’s nice to look your age for once”

Lena squints “are you calling me old?”

“I’ll have you know that I am in fact almost three decades older than you, so no, I am not calling you old” Kara points out.

“Three decades? How?” Lena questions, scientific curiosity spiked.

Kara brushes some loose hairs behind her ear “well I got stuck in this thing called the phantom zone for 24 years when I was trying to escape Krypton and I’m already five years older than you, ergo, I’m 29 years older than you even if I haven’t aged them”

Lena’s eyebrows shoot up “are you telling me you’re on your fifties already?” Kara hums in acknowledgment “you’re kind of old for me, Miss Danvers. Isn’t it creepy?” She jokes.

Kara smirks “is that going to be a problem, Miss Luthor?”

“Oh, on the contrary, a good wine must always be seasoned” Lena said biting her lip. Kara watches the action predatorily and dives forward for another kiss, a deeper one that has Lena moaning.

They stop when Kara’s phone starts beeping in the kitchen counter, demanding her to move her ass and get to work. It takes a lot of persuasion but Lena achieves to detangle from a whining Kara and push her towards the door.

“I’ll be back for dinner and I’ll take you to some spectacular place. Pinky swear” Kara says, moving to give her a kiss that Lena reciprocates gladly “please sleep at least six hours before I’m back, okay?”

“Okay” she agrees “nothing too fancy, I don’t have any clothes” she adds.

  “Well, I can’t really take you to a fancy restaurant. Lena Luthor having a nice bite of overpriced caviar is basically putting a beacon over our head for Hayley to find” she explains “but once we’ve solved this I am going to take you on fancy dates with fancy dresses”

“Oh yeah?” Lena can already imagine Kara going overboard.

“hell yeah” Kara retorts.  

Kara is already out in the snow when she remembers. She quickly super speeds to her bedroom and back.

“You mind helping me put this on?” she shakes the blue scarf in front of Lena’s face.

Lena ties it around her neck so that it won’t fall while she flies back to National City, then balances on her tiptoes to lay a goodbye kiss on Kara’s lips. They end up making out another five minutes, until Lena giddily pushes the eager Kryptonian away.

“See you tonight” Kara guarantees.

“Tonight” Lena agrees.

Kara gives her a last breathtaking smile before taking off. Lena makes a little happy dance and Kelex asks her if she’s in need of medical attention, to which she only responds with a laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back to college on Monday so updates are probably going to be coming less frequently. sowwy about that


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT. if it's not your thing you can just skip this chapter, or only read half of it (smut starts in the middle of the chapter, all the way to the end) i apologize in advance

Kara comes back around 9 pm to find Lena snoozing on the old brown couch Clarke had moved in from the Kent farm since Martha had insisted on providing furniture for his son’s new headquarters and now its Lois’s favorite writing spot. Kara remembers the first time Kal-El brought her to the fortress when she was 14, they had flopped on the couch and devoured a ton of glazed donuts.

Lena has _Anna Karenina_ laying on her chest- a cheap volume Kara had found in her apartment- her hand is hanging off the couch, and her shoes are on, which means she probably fell asleep waiting for her.

Kara leans over and stares lovingly at her, bruising a hand over a dainty pale cheek. Lena leans into the touch, still unconscious, and Kara uses her other hand to stroke raven hair until green eyes open out lazily to look at her, still a little unfocused.

“Hey” Kara whispers softly.

Lena’s lips tug up in a sleepy smile “hey. You’re back”

“Sorry it took me a while. It was kind of a crazy day” Kara apologizes.

“Don’t worry about it. Though I’ll admit I was a little worried since I don’t have any way to call you” Lena says propping herself on her arm.

Kara scrunches her brows “I know, I need to figure something up for that” she hates worrying her. Lena appeases the crinkle with a swipe of her thumb.

“I’m happy you’re back. Everything is incredibly dull around here without you” Lena speaks boldly before cradling the side of her face and pulling her in for a kiss. Kara goes willingly.

“I missed you too” Kara says fondly and Lena smiles coyly. 

“So, this crazy day of yours, can I ask about it?” Lena sits more fully.

Kara pulls her off the couch “I’ll tell you all about it in our dinner date”

“We can stay if you’re tired” Lena offers, mindful of Kara’s intense work line. 

The Kryptonian gives her a head shake “I don’t’ know if you’ve noticed but I am practically a small radioactive battery, I got a lot of stamina” she winks playfully.

Lena sputters embarrassingly at the flirty comment, so she tries to redirect the conversation “Still, it has to be exhausting and you’ve got work tomorrow, I don’t want to be too…demanding”

“Lena, you’re not demanding” Kara makes some dramatic air quotes over the word “I’ve been thinking about it all day, so, let me take you out?” the blonde sticks her bottom lip out “pretty please?”

Lena doesn’t know how to deny her anything, nor does she want to.

“Alright, but if you’re feeling tired we come back” she says with a pointed look.

Kara tips an imaginary hat “yes, ma’am”

So they end up going to a low profile but still charming pub in London with brick walls and wooden beams. Upstairs it has a small outdoor terrace dimly lit and mostly open to the natural shine of the surrounding city lights, the place is almost empty given that it’s Monday and thus they have the upstairs floor for themselves.

Kara drags her to one of the leather booths excitedly and basically sits Lena on her lap while they discuss what to order.

“…and then she showed up at my place like nothing had happened. It sucks” Kara says, dropping her head on the table.

Lena rubs her back soothingly “so she doesn’t know that you’re Supergirl now?”

 “Nop. She doesn’t know and apparently, she’s not a big fan of me on the suit” Kara mumbles “I mean, she threatened to arrest me and gave me _the look_ \- you got any idea how terrifying her serious look is? I. hate. It.” her head bangs against the wood. Lena knows it’s not really hurting her but still puts her hand between the table and Kara’s forehead.

“You can be a little annoying as Supergirl sometimes” Lena chuckles, Kara rolls her face on top of her hand and pouts at her “I mean that you’re not good with protocol, you follow your heat and dive head first, which I love about you, but Alex is trying to direct a massive secret organization after all, I bet she knows you’re just trying to help.maybe she just had a tough day and you' were getting on her nerves a little”

Kara sits up and gives her a skeptical look “you weren’t there, she was so pissed at me. and the whole speech about vulnerability, she doesn’t understand aliens the same way anymore. I dunno what to do” she whines.

“You guys have fought before, I know nothing can slip you two apart. Besides, Alex may not be as connected to aliens as she was before but she still has a great moral compass, ok? It’ll be fine.” Lena puts a comforting hand on her thigh.

Kara huffs resignedly “I hate lying to her. I haven’t kept secrets from Alex since we’re kids”

“She agreed to the mind wipe to protect you, Kara. I would’ve done the same thing”

“You think it will ever be the same?” Kara asks anxiously.

“You’re the Danvers sisters, nothing could keep you apart” there’s a confident undercurrent to Lena’s tone that makes Kara hopeful.

“Rao, I love you” she utters, curling closer and admiring the beautiful features of the younger woman’s face.

“I love you too, darling” Lena responds easily, like it’s the most logical group of words she’s ever pronounced.

 After Kara has stuffed her face with chicken wings ( yet, graciously shared some of her fries) and Lena has consumed her much lighter dish of vegan nachos, they settle for a final cocktail at the bar before they leave. The bartender gives Lena a flirty look and Kara wraps an arm around her waist jealously, which Lena finds both hilarious and cute, so she brings her in for a kiss. The bartender clears her throat and goes to wash some glasses.

“I didn’t know you were the jealous type” Lena says once they part.

“I’m usually not at all, but…” Kara spares a look to the dude behind the bar that’s sneaking glances at them, she pulls Lena into a more heated kiss. “I’ve never been this invested in someone before” 

“Then it might make you happy to know that I only have eyes for you, lady Zor-El” Lena whispers breathily. The use of her prideful house name has Kara tingling in places.

“Can we go now?” Kara asks buzzing with palpable energy, Lena smirks and calls for the bartender.

Lena makes her wait until she’s finished with her second glass of scotch, plus a glass of water and makes sure to drink it in the most teasing fashion Kara has ever witnessed. Then she finally lets the Kryptonian fly them back, leaving small kisses over her neck the whole trip in malicious jeopardy of Kara’s ability to refrain herself.

The minute they're inside the fortress of solitude Kara corners her against the closed ice gate, Lena feels the cool sensation of the ice through her clothes.

“That was mean and dangerous” the blonde grumbles pointing to her flushed neck, spotting the same red on her cheeks.

“Sorry” Lena grinning and completely untruthfully “although, I didn’t hear you complaining. Was the wind too loud?” her intonation is way too smug, it makes Kara shake her head.

“You’re such a tease” Kara accuses, pushing forward to trap the shorter woman between her body and the ice. Lena gasps a little at the closeness, at the solid feeling of the Kryptonian’s strong frame tightly pressed with hers.

“Yes. But you like it” she replies running a finger over Kara’s chin.

Kara nods, biting her lower lip. Then she locks her eyes with Lena’s, gives her a softer look and a head tilt like she’s asking for permission, Lena answers her by sliding her arms over her shoulders and fusing their lips together. Kara’s warm hands raise her tights until Lena’s legs are secure around her hips and then walks them to the bedroom while they kiss sloppily.

The Kryptonian halts two steps away from the impeccably made bed and pulls away to speak.

“Is this too fast?” there’s indecision in her voice, she’s worried maybe she’ll jinx the whole thing.

Lena puts herself together enough to speak, staring at her with blown pupils. She thinks about making some witty comment about how they’ve already done this but decides against it.

“If you think it’s too fast we can stop right now and do something else. I can make you midnight waffles and we can just talk.” Lena supplies, ignoring the ludicrous part of her brain that just wants to jump Kara’s bones uninterruptedly for the next couple of hours. A small flash of disappointment crosses the blonde’s face so Lena adds to her statement. “I want you, Kara. A lot, but if you don’t want to that’s oka-“

“ _I want to_. I do, so much” Kara jumps in, squeezing on her thighs for emphasis. “But you can still make me waffles in the morning?”

Lena laughs and leaves a little peck on Kara’s chin “yes, love”

Eventually, Kara lays them smoothly on the bed, slotting on top of her and Lena finds the weight a reassuring proof of presence, instead of the suffocating feeling she usually gets from her one-night- stands. Their rhythm is unhurried, lazy in the most delicious way and so unlike the rush of their first time. Then, it had been a desperate cry for Kara to stay, to look at the more flawed parts of her and still love her. But Kara knows her flaws now and she’s still here.

Here, running her fingers in a slow dance across her body with such dedication that Lena feels beautiful. Objectively she knows that she’s attractive, but she’s never felt beautiful before. Lillian had always reminded her that she lacked elegance by design, that she was too short and round-shaped, not at all fitting with the tall, lean Luthor heritage. Those traits were most likely passed down by her mother’s side, along with the green eyes and the pitch black hair.

“You’re so beautiful, Lena” Kara words before she’s even discarded her shirt, just looking her profoundly in the eyes like she’s talking about her soul rather than her actual appearance. Lena might actually start to cry.

She aches to return the compliment “you too. Unearthly, one would say”

Kara snorts at the joke, then pulls on the hem of her shirt “can I?”

Lena nods and the shirt flies to some forgotten place on the floor, and by some bold urgency, Lena decides to remove her bra as well in a swift movement that rivals with Supergirl’s super speed. Kara ranks her eyes over the naked torso adoringly, from the cavity of her clavicles to the dip of her bellybutton and then repeats the trail with her hands.

The initial kiss it’s placed on her neck, then the feeling spreads as Kara works her way down into the expanse of her chest and over her sternum. She makes a lazy exploration of her breast area, all fluttering touches and small kisses that have Lena squirming, when Kara gives more attention to her hardening nipples with her hot mouth Lena can’t help but grab a fist of blonde hair.

“oh god, Kara” she squeals when teeth bite down on tender rosy buds, her hips shamelessly grinding down on the thigh Kara pushes against her while palming her boobs, she already knows there’s going to be a constellation of hickies over her chest.

After what feels like ages, Kara moves downward her tongue running over Lena’s ribs. Lena manages to take off Kara’s t-shirt before the blonde is claiming her jeans, tugging them down past her thighs and off her ankles. She looks at the lovely sight of Lena in nothing but black panties and lets out a ragged breath, Lena smiles at her blushing lightly at the examination.

“You are just… so perfect” Kara says kneeling in the gap between her bent legs, Lena lifts herself from the pillows to kiss her, hand brushing over the button of Kara’s pants.

“These really have to go” she pulls at the fabric impatiently. Kara shimmies out of her pants, her thigh abs and perfectly sculpted legs turn the awkward movement into something that has Lena’s mouth watering.

The Kryptonian goes back to her original task, spreading her legs open and staring at the black panties wet and clinging to Lena, reaching with her thumb she swipes over the covered cunt and watches the pale thighs shake at the hasty touch.

“Baby, please” Lena whispers, hiding behind her own arm. Embarrassed that she’s already so turned on. 

She makes an enormous effort to not rip the item of clothing, instead, sliding it off gently so that Lena is completely naked and her hips rise a little searching for Kara’s fingers. The blonde obliges happily, stroking the beautiful pink swollen pussy, hearing Lena moan at the attention she starts circular motions over the girl’s clit. Her other hand comes to push faintly with her fingers at the oozing entrance, the action has Lena chanting ‘ _inside. Inside. Inside_ ’, so she slips a finger in and then a second, stretching.

Lena’s hips jerk down trying to make her plunge deeper and Kara, of course, gives her what she wants, thrusting more forcefully while she overwatches her pleasure from her kneeling position.

“Oh fuck, Kara- fuck” Lena shouts when the blonde adds a third finger and more pressure to her puffy clit, already edging and desperately trying to hold back her orgasm.

“Let go, baby. Come on, I know you want to, Lee” Kara says, twisting her finger more upwards inside of her and sliding over a particular place that pushes her over the edge, freefalling into the void.

She can absently feel her body twitching and her mouth letting go high pitched renditions of Kara’s name, but mostly she’s blacking out into the waves of intense pleasure spreading all over her. Kara coaches her through it with a lighter pumping, watching her adoringly as her back arches and her toes curl.

In time, the waves fade into smaller aftershocks and Kara slips out of her gently. Lena looks up and finds her sucking her fingers hungrily and it’s all the blonde can do before she’s being flipped over by a very eager Lena, Kara giggles as Lena straddles her leaving a wet trail on her abs.

Lena rubs small circles into Kara’s sides, while she kisses her then starts planting little wet licks across her throat and the Kryptonian whines contently with closed eyes. Lena moves away and Kara opens her eyes in confusion.

“Lena, what are you-“ she starts to question, feeling the sticky residue of wetness on her stomach getting cold without the heat of Lena. Kara is about to complain when she realizes Lena is not getting off but turning around and laying back down, her chest now resting on Kara’s abdomen which means she gets an up-close view of Lena’s ass and pussy.

“Oh dear Rao” Kara cries, feeling herself pulse at the erotic sight.

 Lena works quickly to take off her boyshorts and hums appreciatively when she finds her painfully aroused. She bites Kara’s strong inner thigh and tastes the small amount of wetness that has drizzled down, form the headboard Kara responds by gripping her rear with a loud plead for more.

The first couple of licks are a slow worship to Kara’s lower lips, her taste buds celebratory buzzing because of the flavor. Kara’s hips tremble and she starts letting out little whines that make Lena smirk, her chin hitting the swollen bud that is Kara’s clit while Lena dips her tongue into her entrance.

When the blonde pushes through the fog of her pleasure and tries to put her mouth on the center hovering above her, Lena arches to get away from it.

“no-uh, you lay down.” She orders.

Kara thrashes a little, still trying to get a lick of her “but I want to taste you”

“If you play nice I’ll let you eat me out later. Are you going to behave?” it’s said in such a sultry tone that Kara feels it running down her spine. She lays down in surrender but keeps her hands on Lena’s butt, massaging the pale globes.

Lena dives in again, face first in enthusiasm. Licking and sucking on Kara’s clit with little moaning sounds that vibrate, driving the Kryptonian crazy. She would be worried of hurting her, if it was anyone else in this situation, but since is Lena her body relaxes knowing there’s no part of her that would put the woman in danger.

The warm mouth keeps her on the edge, scattering her touches and transforming Kara into a moaning mess below her. She grows frustrated after the raven-haired girl slows down a third time and starts begging for more, for Lena to fuck her senseless. So Lena does, grabbing Kara’s legs to wrap them around her head and burying her face more deeply, and then adding her fingers to the mix.

Kara explodes within thirty seconds, cumming in all over her face and biting on her left buttcheek with something that sounds suspiciously like meowing as she spasms against Lena’s face. After a moment her legs go slack and Lena leaves with a final lick that rips a giggle out of Kara, then falls by her side.

“m’sorry about the mess” Kara says seeing herself all over Lena’s chin and cheeks, cleaning it up with small kisses. “You’re really good at that”

“Glad to hear that” Lena chases her lips and gives her a long wholesome kiss.

A cheeky smile appears on Kara’s face “it's my turn though” it all she says before Lena is being flipped onto her stomach and Kara is positioning behind her. Lena thinks maybe she has bit more than she can swallow, but that’s her last coherent thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My semester is already kicking my ass and I needed the endorphins. Feel free to beat me up in the comments


	7. Chapter 7

“What if you erased my memory too, that way I wouldn’t be able to give you up” Lena suggests.

Kara looks at her outraged “that’s out of the question. I can barely manage to lie to Alex, we're not doing that. Besides, even then they would still arrest you and Hayley would be unforgiving if she doesn’t get what she wants out of you” 

They’re bathing in the big crystal pool, the warm water makes wonders for Lena’s sore muscles.

“Well, they wouldn’t be unfounded accusations” Lena points out.

Kara stops washing her head and turns her around “Lee, you weren’t doing anything wrong. You said it yourself, everything was done by the book”

“Yeah, everything except the part where I apparently stole intellectual property by using the Harun-El formula” Lena tries not to sound too self-pitying. They’ve been brainstorming about how to solve her problem but nothing viable is coming up “and legal doesn’t always mean ethical”

Kara purses her lips and shakes her head in disagreement “you were trying to help the world, Lena. I don’t think that’s unethical at all and if it is about the trials… I was wrong to even insinuate that it was anything closer to Lex’s. It wasn’t my brightest moment but I see it now”

“You made a good point though, what if I end up making some murderous super powered jerk?” just thinking about it makes her flinch in concern.

“That could’ve been said about me or Kal, but we save lives. Our powers were merely coincidental and still we took a good path, so with you calling the shots, it’s possible you might find someone even better than us” Kara kisses her forehead.

“You have an awful amount of faith in me” Lena’s still skeptical, but Kara’s positivity is contagious.

“I do, and you’ve never proven me wrong before” Kara says with a committed smile.

Lena makes waffles (as promised), and Kara helps with the coffee, although she suspects is only a tactic to stick around and distract her with sneaky smooches.

“Were you betrothed?” Lena asks suddenly as she pours more batter into the waffle maker. Kara arches a brow in surprise “Kelex was telling me about some of your emm mating customs”

Kara slurps at her third coffee cup “I was, since my parents arranged my conception on the birthing matrix. It was one of the first things they planned for me along with my name, it was an important occurrence in important houses.” She explains, thinking back on how Alex had found the concept so strange when she had told her.

“Never got to meet them though” it’s a mystery to her if her betrothed would’ve even liked her “why the question? Are you up for the spot?” she says lightheartedly.

Lena licks her lower lip and fakes contemplation “maybe. But I don’t know how worthy I am of the so very important Kara Zor-El”

Kara snorts and pulls her close “if there’s someone more worthy, I’ve never met them” blue eyes skim her face “and I don’t want to either. You, Lena Luthor, have my heart”

“You have mine too” Lena smooths her hands over the back of Kara’s shoulders and slides them up the sides of her neck to guide her mouth to hers in a full kiss.

They’re almost done eating breakfast when Kelex enters the room and announces they have a visitor outside the fortress, Kara jumps up in alarm and x-rays through the crystal walls, relaxing when she identifies who it is.

“Brainy?” she says in confusion and goes to open the gate.

“Hello, Kara” he greets and then skips to Lena behind her “Lena! I must thank you, the little boxes have greatly collaborated in the recent advances with Coronel Hayley”

Lena smiles at his extravagant mannerisms “so I’ve been told, you’re quite the master of compartmentalization”

Kara looks curiously at the interaction “little boxes?”

Brainy turns to her “oh yes. Lena taught me about the fascinating art of locking things in boxes so that they can be hidden them deep inside you” Kara gives Lena a dirty look, something that screams ‘we’re talking about that later’ clearly aware of how Lena likes to push down her feelings.

Lena scratches her nape “well, I had no idea you could actually apply my method to such efficiency so, you’ve bested me” she makes a little finger gun gesture and regrets it imminently at the glint on Kara’s eye. 

“I don’t wanna sound rude but what are you doing here, Brainy?” Kara inquires.

Brainy raises his index “I am afraid we have a problem, concerning this whole Runaways situation” he says winking exaggeratedly.

Kara snorts “he’s been catching up with Marvel” she informs Lena. “Okay, tell us what’s up”

He nods “Coronel Hayley has finally gotten inside L-corp’s vault, just this morning I fact”

Lena's eyes widen “oh-oh”

Kara steps closer to her sensing her distress “oh-oh what?”

“It’s where I keep the Harun-El serum, and my trials recordings” Lena says somberly. “She knows about the testing and… Kara, she knows about Adam” the blonde looks at brainy for confirmation.

“Affirmative. She’s got them in her possession”

Kara brings a hand up to pinch the bridge of her nose. Why won’t this woman leave her alone for Rao’s sake?

“That’s it. She’s got enough dirt on me to sink me” Lena exclaims in defeat.

A hand sneaks into hers “hey, no. She’s not winning okay? We’ll find a solution”

“Kara, I can’t just keep hiding here forever. Let’s call J’onn and have him erase my memory, at least that way you’ll be safe” she tries, even if she knows what the blonde is going to say.

“No. I am not taking that rode with you.” the Kryptonian starts pacing angrily “you do know what that will mean right? What it will mean now”

Lena sighs. Of course she knows, once her Supergirl memories are gone she won’t remember at all the events of last week, of Kara coming to her in the late hours and telling her she’s been fired, Kara and her fighting the next morning in the well-lit apartment, Kara flying her to the fortress of solitude. She will forget about their kisses and the 'I love yous' they shared. It will be like none of it happened.

“You want that?” Kara asks, stopping her pacing and Lena can hear the hurt in her voice.

“What? No, I would never want to forget that- to forget you or-“ she looks at brainy, who’s froze in place with confusion, then back to Kara “or us. I don’t want that to happen, but if it keeps you safe then I’ll do it”

Kara walks up to her and cups her face “you keep me safe, okay? You knowing who I truly am makes me feels safe”

“That doesn’t make sense” Lena says quietly.

 “Feeling often don’t” Kara says with a smile, rubbing her thumb over her cheek “let’s not rush this alright? Hayley can’t get her hands on you while you’re here, so we don’t have to worry about any interrogation yet. There’s still time to figure it out”

Lena considers it, but it’s hard to weight her options when Kara is looking at her like that.

“Okay” she agrees. Kara gives her two chaste kisses, one on her lips and another on her cheek before turning to Brainy again, who gazes at the floor to pretend he hadn’t been watching them.

“Did Hayley said anything about it when she found it?”

“Yes, she proposed to review the material back at the DEO. She said she’d give the serum to Director Danvers, so they could analyze it at the lab” he relays the information quickly. 

 Kara’s hands' jar at her hips on her superhero pose as she thinks “And the recordings? Has she heard them yet?”

Brainy gets a faraway expression, like he’s checking some invisible sing they can’t see.

“No. she seems to be in a meeting as we speak” Brainy says confidently.

Kara refocuses on Lena “you’ve got every other document of the experiments right? That’s what you grabbed from your apartment the night of the raid”

Lena nods. It was a bunch of legal documents, including Adam’s agreement to the terms of medical procedure and a flash drive with her notes and assessments that had luckily been on her purse beforehand.

“Then I just have to get the recording and the serum back.” Kara concludes. “And Hayley won’t know anything of the trails”

“Uh, very smart” Brainy says excitedly

Lena gulps “you’re joking” but Kara is dead serious “please tell me you’re not actually considering stealing from the DEO. Kara, that’s what got me in this mess in the first place. It’s a terrible idea!”

“First, we’ve already established that you didn’t steal anything so I’ll just be recovering your rightful belongings. And second, I will be in and out of there before they even notice.” Kara says cockily.

Lena pads her temples in frustration, leave it to her to fall in love with someone this recklessly heroic.

“Come on, trust me” Kara says. Lena realizes she’s not really asking, she’s going to do it with or without her approval.

“You’re not going to listen to me, are you?”

Kara crosses her arms “I’m not letting that hateful woman destroy you”

“If it makes you feel better there’s an eighty percent chance Kara will make it without disturbances” brainy supports.

They both stare at her expectantly, and Lena can see Kara crossing her fingers behind her back in a childish gesture. The blonde senses her inner turmoil and ducks her head to catch her eye, giving her a pleading look.

“Fine” she surrenders, digging her finger into the Kryptonian's compact chest “but if something happens you are going to be in serious trouble, Zor-El” she says with an intense look.

Kara gasps for a second and blushes. “Okay” she takes her victory before Lena regrets it.

“We must go now” Brainy apprises. 

“Be careful, please” her worries haven’t subsided.

Kara leaves after one last reassuring kiss, brainy pats Lena in the shoulder and follows the girl of steel into the sky. Lena feels an odd urge to pray even though she’s never been religious, her expressions are purely a result of her catholic Irish boarding school.  She throws a thought into the universe anyway for Kara to be safe and things to go smoothly before getting back inside.

But of course, things don’t go smoothly.

About two hours later Kelex informs her there’s someone at the gate again.

“Do you know who is it?” there’s not really a peephole and Lena doesn’t have x-ray vision.

“I’ve detected two life forms. One of them is consistent with Kara Zor-El’s genetic markers, I’ve also identified the other one as Martian” Kelex says as Lena moves into the hall, staring at the door. She still has no idea of how to open it from inside, Kara usually opens it and it slides shot once Lena is inside without her doing anything.

“Can you open the door?” she questions, wondering why Kara isn’t opening it herself.

“The fortress strict command is to only open from inside to biological members of the house of El” Kelex responds.

Lena it’s getting impatient “can you scan for Kara’s vitals?” there’s a short pause and then the robot answers.

“Jran Zor-El’s vitals are critical. Her low blood pressure indicates a significant amount of blood loss” Kelex concludes.

Lena feels her heart drop.

“Kelex, I need to open this door!” she looks around desperately, foolishly hoping to find some miraculous red button that opens the door. “There must be a safe fail, right? To open the door”

“If there is I’ve been forbidden such information, lady Luthor”

“Alright. Oh fuck, okay, okay” Lena paces around the room.

Kelex doesn’t really have eyes but she feels the staring “your heart rate suggest you’re in distress, are you in any need of medical attention?”

“No! I’m in need of-“a light bulb lights up in above her head “can you blast through the walls?” she knows Kelex has a weapon system, he had said so on one of their many conversations.

Another pause “according to my calculations yes, temporarily. The crystal will grow back to keep the fortress sealed in a time of about nine point six seconds.”

“Do it”

Kelex doesn’t wait. It takes four discharges for the wall to finally give in, leaving a five meter high breach that she can already see closing up. Lena jumps forward and sticks her head outside the gap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooooo, I only had time to right last night and this was the result. Hence why I am not really confident it's good but there you go, I guess.


	8. Chapter 8

The first thing that welcomes Lena is the freezing wind numbing her cheeks uncomfortably, but the cold becomes an afterthought as soon as she locates the two figures in the snow. Kara lays on the floor limply, in the white framing Lena catches a glimpse of two colors she dreads on the blonde: green and red, not the dye of her suit but the angriness of liquid red that’s gushing out of her.

To the right dark eyes meet her, equally worried. J’onn is kneeling in the snow beside the massive gold key, seemingly falling at picking up the million tons of condensed dwarf star. She battles the impulse of stepping out, knowing the gap is closing quickly.

“You have to get in now!”

He acts immediately hearing the urge in her voice, cradling the fallen superhero on his arms, the crystal has already grown substantially and it forces him to crouch heavily in order to fit but he gets in, seconds later the opening is gone.  

It’s only because both of them are used to high-pressure situations that they don’t freeze, instead of moving quickly to put Kara down on a solid surface. Lena can see her better now, but it’s not something she’d ever want to witness. There’s a wide gash on Kara’s side that’s bleeding profusely-soaking the fabric of her suit and pouring onto the crystal pedestal they placed her on, there’s another two smaller cuts on her right arm and left cheek, and her nose looks broken. However, Lena’s main worry is the greenish tint of the veins beneath the bruising skin, reaching to lift Kara’s eyelid she gasps after finding them radiating with ill green.

This is the worst she’s ever seen her hurting, Lena feels the panic creeping on her at sight. “What happened?”

“She flew into my apartment and collapsed, didn’t say much” J’onn answers, hand tightly around Kara’s inert one.

Lena clings onto her sanity and thinks about what to do “we need to get the kryptonite out” she looks hesitantly at the wound, hands twitching.

J’onn nods “I can do that. Hold her arms down, just in case”

Lena obeys, grateful to leave the gruesome task to the Martian. Ripples of red spread over the surface of his hand and Lena watches it trespass ghostly into Kara’s frame, ignoring any human law of physic. J’onn’s eyebrows furrow in concentration as he feels around, after a couple seconds he starts a pulling motion.

Kara convulsions weakly at the sensation, her biceps tensing under Lena’s palms in pain as a groan erupts from her throat, and despite everything, Lena is relieved to see her moving for the first time in minutes.

Blood drizzles slowly out as the object is extracted and Kara goes boneless again. J’onn hold his hand out (absurdly clean for something that was plunged in Kara’s midriff two seconds ago) showing the glowing green fragment, it looks like the tip of a blade. Lena hurries to snatch it from his grip, running into the kitchen and locking it away inside the fridge, thankful for its lead constitution, then rushing back to the blonde.

The Kryptonian is still very much unconscious and her breathing is shallow even if the green has stopped shining through her veins. More concerning is the fact that the gashes aren’t closing, and her usually tanned complexion is paling with the blood loss.

“She’s not healing” Lena indicates “why isn’t she-“her voice breaks mid-sentence as the fear asphyxiates her.

J’onn starts pressure on the wound, coming to the same realization “I think she solar flared. She’s- bleeding out like a human would, we have to stop it” he looks around frenetically, trying to come up with a solution.

“Oh god” Lena cries, clasping Kara’s face and finding it way below her normal temperature “no, no, Kara!” the girl doesn’t move. Lena is starting to lose it when movement catches her eye, the expectant helper waiting for instruction.

“Kelex, she needs suturing, can you?” she lets the question hanging. The robot moves attentively and Lena gives it room to work, dragging J’onn with her and absently grabbing his hand- now sticky with blood- to ground herself. He squeezes hers kindly in an effort to chase away the hopelessness of her loud thoughts. Neither of them tears their eyes from Kara’s fragile shape though.

It feels like an eternity before Kelex is backing off.

“Is she going to be okay?” Lena asks although it sounds more like a plea.

“I’ve stopped the bleeding from her injuries and repaired the damaged muscle tissue. She suffered from a class 3 hemorrhage, thirty percent of her total blood volume has been lost. I require a compatible specimen to carry on with a transfusion.”

Lena swallows heavily, all of Kara’s relatives are on Argo “and if we don’t have one?”

“Lady Zor-El’s biology will allow her to restore the deficiency quicker than humans, but she will be weak for the next 48 hours and should remain in bed rest.” Kelex explains.

“So she’ll be fine?” J’onn asks in a fatherly fashion.

“As long as there isn’t a dramatic change in her temperature, she’s expected to have a total recovery”

Lena slumps her shoulders, relaxing slightly at Kelex assessment. “Thank you, Kelex”

J’onn leaves a small kiss on Kara’s head and goes to clean himself. Lena stays, keeping a vigilant eye on the blonde. The cuts are gone, whatever advanced technology Kelex used to close up the wounds left only a faint pinkish shade behind, her nose is no longer crooked but the blood is still drying up slowly. Her breathing is stronger than before, giving Lena some reassurance even if her frowning doesn’t demise.

“I’m so mad at you right now” Lena says more tired than anything. “You big idiot, what kind of reckless insanity did you do” Kara remains oblivious to the scolding.

“I swear, Kara if you die on me I’m going to follow you and drag you back here so that I can kick your butt”

“I don’t think that’s how dead works,” J’onn says with a warm smile. His hands are now clean, but there’s a stain on his shirt.

Lena chuckles tightly “I know. She just loves to jump into dangerous situations doesn’t she?”

“Well, is a sizable part of her job” he attests.

“Admittedly. But this-“she points generally at Kara “it’s not a part of her job. She went there for me and- and she almost got killed… I should have stopped her from going”

J’onn puts a hand on her shoulder to get her attention “sometimes her decisions seem really questionable when it’s evident she’s not taking her safety into consideration, but Kara always fights for what she believes in. She believes in you, Lena” his voice is deep and shooting, filled with ancient wisdom “She’ll fight for you with everything she’s got because that’s just who Kara is, she protects the people she loves fiercely”

“I want to fight for her too, keep her safe. I-“

“No. I know what you’re thinking and the answer is no. She needs you to know who she is now, you’re the one giving her strength and shelter. So I won’t erase your memories, you have to be here for her, okay?”

Lena knows he’s right to an extent. With Alex gone, Kara is always on the verge of falling, not used to living without her most precious hero, her family, the person that knows her better than anyone else. Alex had always been her strength and shelter in a foreign world, but now she doesn’t remember that.

“Kara can’t lose you both. She’ lost enough already” J’onn says mournfully.

“Okay” Lena surrenders “but I’m still going to give her crap about her carelessness”

The man laughs and pads her back “yeah, me too”

After that Lena takes charge of changing Kara out of the torn bloody suit, wiping the dirt and scrubbing the red out of her skin with a gentle wet cloth, then she slides one of Kara’s white Kryptonian gowns because is the easiest thing to get her in. She struggles a little with the weight and asks J’onn for help.

“I know her bones are denser than human but damn,” Lena says, a hand brushing her forehead.

J’onn smiles “Try getting punched in the face with it. Real fun experience”

“She punched you?” Lena is surprised.

“It was during the Red K accident a couple years ago. One could say she was a little grumpy” J’onn recalls. “We weren’t that close yet. I think she thought I was too broody and bossy” 

“you went a long way then, given that you’re basically a big sized teddy bear to her now” Lena teases, thinking about the many times she’s seen the blonde squeeze him with a bit more force than she uses for anybody else.

He looks fondly at Kara “she’s all but ruined my though reputation, with some help from Winn and Alex.”

“You get mushy around your kids?” Lena grins.

“I do” he admits easily. Lena finds it heartwarming.

“This is definitely going to need some stitching too,” Lena says lifting up the ripped suit “maybe Kelex is good at crochet” her joke is met with silence. When she looks at J’onn he has a severe expression on his face again, had she said something wrong?

“What?” she questions. J’onn points a little below her and Lena sees it, attached to the cape there’s a small metal object with a blinking blue light. A tracker.

They don’t say another word, instead hurrying to get out as fast as possible. Lena ran to their room grabbing some of their stuff and putting on a jacket, she meets J’onn back at the door the man having picked up the unconscious Kryptonian.

“Here, we better keep her warm” she said, putting a fluffy blanket around the blonde. “Can you take us both?”

J’onn nodded “you’ll have to hang on hard, my arms are full” he said gesturing to his back.

“Could they get inside?” Lena looked around somewhat hesitant to leave Kara’s heritage unprotected.

“I’m not sure, I don’t think so. But if we stay we won’t be able to get out once they settle outside” 

“Alright” she takes a step forward, then stops “wait. I can’t be seen in National City, they’re looking for me and if they find me… they will find her” it’s only a logical conclusion, Hayley it’s pushing her out of hiding and if they’re together she’ll have Supergirl on a silver platter. “You have to leave me behind” 

J’onn steps closer to her, Kara occupying the space between them “Lena, I’m not leaving you behind. It’s not up for discussion”

Lena replies stubbornly “you know they have facial recognition running in National City, probably in the whole United States. I can’t risk it, I’m not letting them touch a single strand of her hair. Not after this. I was too lissome this morning and she almost got killed, J’onn. I won’t make the same mistake twice”

“The likelihood of them finding you were we are going are slim, okay? Low profile, few surveillance spots. You’ll be safe. Right now if you stay here they’ll capture you and then find out Kara’s identity anyway” he presses calmly.

“Not if you erase my memories, they won’t”

“Lena, look at her” J’onn demands.

 Kara is wrapped in the baby blue blanket, face resting over the Martians chest. Lena feels the vulnerability she exudes in her pale state, it makes her want to hold her close and never let her go, to shield her from the darkness of the world. She can’t help but reach to brush some blonde hair off her face, trailing a finger gingerly over her bruising nose wishing she could fade the purple at will.

“Are you really ready to give up? To give her up?” J’onn questions.

Lena knows she’s not. She’s not ready to forget how Kara looks snoring in the early hours of the morning beside her, how she tangles her legs with Lena’s under the table while they’re eating, how her kisses spread the warmest feeling in her chest. And she’s not ready to cause Kara the pain of being forgotten like that, within the span of seconds.

She spares one last glance at the place before hopping onto J’onn’s back and aking Kelex to blast them an exit. 

___

“Agent, join us”

He steps inside the room, gazing at his superior trying not to wince. “Yes, Coronel”

 Alex is at the end of the table standing perfectly still as she stares at the screen. She acknowledges him with a head tilt, there are a couple other high ranking agents waiting as well, he suppresses the urge to inquire about what’s going on careful not to blow up his position to Hayley’s already growing suspicious. 

“So, as you all know today we’re attacked viscously by the individual referred to as Supergirl. But we repealed the menace effetely, and I commend all of you in your proficient responses” she said proudly “this terrorist act against a sacred American institution will not go unpunished.”

Brainy looks around. Some side glances are thrown around, dissimulated concern in some faces and apparent indifference in others, even though they’ve all worked with Supergirl closely for years.

“ Unfortunately, our tracking device signal has been tampered with and we lost their location” Hayley says, hands clad behind her back. He tries not to show any emotion that might reveal he was the one tampering with the tracker.

“However” a smug grin appears in the woman’s face, behind her the screen displays an image. A small object following a trajectory “I reached to The Pentagon and they’ve kindly allowed us to use their satellite live feed. This is too small and too fast to be a plane” she says pointing to the moving object.

Brainy fists his hands closed tightly.

“we’ve got them”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the delay, but I'm sick and have two due essays for next week so this is probably not good but i gotta post something


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been so long since I updated this work and I'm sorry, but life has been getting in the way.

~~**__** ~~ ~~~~

The first thing Kara notices when she wakes up is how dry her throat feels as if she hasn’t spoken in ages. The soft bedding below her is also distinctive in an inexplicable way, her brain picks up the familiarity of it and her hand shoots to grip her side where the wound is supposed to be, but there’s nothing.

“Kara?” a soft voice calls, the mattress dips with newly added weight.

“Lee-“her words get lost in a sudden cough and Lena rushes somewhere out of sight, comes back shortly with carrying a glass of water. Sitting up, Kara gulps it down gratefully, washing down the grimy feeling of her throat.

Lena sneaks a hand around her back and rubs in a calming attempt, taking the glass when it’s emptied. The room is mostly in shadows but Kara can see the deep crease between her flawless eyebrows and it’s almost stupid how her first thought is that she’s so gorgeous even when she has that worried air.

Kara looks down, fisting the sheaths “This is Alex’s bed”

“Oh” Lena’s eyes flicker between the two sides of the room “sorry, I didn’t realize. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve been able to look at anything inside this room apart from you” she says tiredly, it makes Kara feel guilty when she remember exactly why Lena has been worrying.

“Lee, I’m sorry” she leans forward into the other woman’s space, dropping a little kiss on her shoulder “I’m really sorry”

Lena sniffles and when she speaks her tone is harsher “what were you thinking about?”

Kara opens her mouth but Lena raises a hand.

“No, scratch that. What was I thinking! I should’ve stopped you from doing something so fucking thoughtless the moment you suggested it” anger drips out of the words.

“I knew it was risky, Lena. It isn’t your fault, I would’ve gone even if you didn’t support it and you know that” Kara says tenderly.

Lena snorts sorely “great, then I am in love with an idiot”

“I love you too, baby” Kara says smiling, watching as Lena rolls her eyes.

“It’s not a joke, Kara” she says dead serious “I saw you back there and… it was bad. Kara, it was so bad. I don’t ever want to see you like that again, I-I thought” blinking back the tears she stares at Kara “I thought you were going to die, Kara! I told you to be careful, do you have any idea of how that felt? Almost losing you like that?” 

Kara blinks slowly “I feel it every time I save your life…and every time, just before I catch you, it’s like my hearts getting ripped out” it’s an honest answer because she always wonders about what if she’s not fast enough. What if she fails? Lena would be gone, which means that in some way she’d be gone too. It’ll kill her.

Lena sighs deeply, maybe Kara knows how it is to love someone who’s in constant danger better than she’d considered.

“But I’m sorry, okay?” Kara brushes some black hairs back “It’s not something I would ever make you feel on purpose and I’m sorry it happened today, but I’m alive see? You saved me this time”

Lena laughs humorlessly and lets the blonde drag her into her chest, blue eyes staring down at her.

“ _You, Lena Luthor, are my hero_ ” Kara says, adding a little lip purse for emphasis.

Lena snorts “quit stealing my lines, Supergirl” eventually the angriness fades away to the relief of seen Kara back in better shape. “I love you, dumb head” 

“I love you, smarty pants” Kara responds and reinforces it with a lazy kiss that has Lena melting pathetically.

The door cracks open just then.

“OH GOD” Eliza yelps, shielding her eyes dramatically.

They separate quickly, Lena jumps out of the bed and stands blushing out of Kara’s reach.

“Mom!” Kara greets in a high-pitched squeak of surprise. “Hi! We’re just…uh catching up- because I just woke up and I was emm thirsty” she rushes an explanation, Eliza’s eyes widen “for water! I was thirsty for water, that’s what I meant” Kara points wildly to the empty glass.

Eliza fights a grin “I see. I’m happy you had Lena to help you”

“I’ll take this to the kitchen” Lena says before escaping the room with the glass in hand and red cheeks.

Eliza stares behind her and smiles, sitting by the bed “you had that girl pretty worried”

Kara looks sheepishly “I’m sorry about that”

“Oh _that_? Don’t worry, since stepping through the doorway and she never took her eyes off of you. It wasn’t hard to figure out why and I guess I could’ve knocked” the older woman says dismissively.

“Yeah, teenage Alex would agree with that last bit”

Eliza nods fondly “you know you could have told me about you two, right? I wasn’t going to be disapproving or anything. Lena already has a sit at our table regardless.”

“I know, mom. I’m sorry, it’s just been a very insane week and it happened all so quickly that I couldn’t even find the time to tell you. Not about the ‘I’m hiding my best friend form my ex-employers’ part, let alone the ‘I’m in love with my best friend’ part” Kara explains, hugging a pillow.

“Well, J’onn filled me in downstairs about the DEO part, so no big deal. I can tell it had to be a hectic time” Eliza reassures “he was also very worried, apparently you were worse than when I saw you and since looking quite crappy then it had to be bad”

Kara runs a hand through her hair “yeah, it wasn’t my smoothest work”

“I was worried too, Kara” Eliza chastises.

“I’m sorry, mom. I didn’t mean to scare any of you” Kara promises.

There’s a knock at the door and then Lena is back into the room, followed by J’onn.

“J’onn! Hey, did I stained your carpet?” Kara asks cheerfully and manages to rip a chuckle out of him.

“I have wood floors, Kara. Luckily” he says, hugging her gently “how are you feeling?”

“I’m fine, just a little tired and umm-“

“Human?” Lena provides.

“Ah yes, human. That’s what I feel so weird” Kara recognizes “and my nose itches”

J’onn smiles “you broke it” 

Kara gasps and brings her hand clumsily up.

“Don’t touch it” Eliza slaps the hand away, amused.

“Well, I didn’t break it myself.” Kara points out “is it crooked?” she asks looking at Lena with concern.

The raven-haired girl smiles softly “No, it’s just a little bruised. You still have a perfect nose” she says, only to blush afterward when Eliza throws her a knowing smirk.

“Kara, what happened back there?”

The blonde shifts uncomfortably and avoids the eyes of everyone in the room, a hand ghosting over the faded marks where the cuts had existed. When she finally dares to look up her expression is a mix of guilt and frustration, eyes locking up with Lena’s.

“I couldn’t get anything back, I- things didn’t go as planned and- I’m sorry” Kara says regretfully.

Lena shakes her head “I don’t care about that”

“Lena, she’s trying to destroy everything you’ve built because of your ties with me. This was important and I failed you”

“You have never failed me, Kara. Not today, not ever” Lena offers calmly, stepping closer.

 Eliza pads the bed and Lena sits in between them, grateful with the eldest Danvers for the opportunity to stay close to Kara.

“Honestly, if I would’ve known how much it could cost us I would’ve dammed the stupid serum and the recordings. It’s not worth even a fraction of you” she says earnestly.

Kara’s jaw tightens “of course it is! Hayley is going to use them against you”

“I don’t care” Lena responds petulantly “if it puts you in the line of fire I don’t care. We’ll find another way”

Kara wants to argue but Lena has a decided look that is basically a force of nature she can’t battle with, so she simply nods and tangles their hands together.

“Oh Rao, wait, why are we in Midvale?” Kara inquires. Lena and J’onn share a look.

“They tracked you down to the Fortress, it wasn’t safe anymore” the Martian says. 

“Of course she did.” Kara huffs exasperatedly. “We can’t stay here either, if they find us here… Hayley threatened my family, Eliza. I can’t stay here, it’s dangerous for you”

“Nonsense, this is your home and you’re staying here for as long as you need to” Eliza says stubbornly.

“We’re by the beach and there are no neighbors in at least half a mile, no cameras. Unless Hayley has drones all over America looking for you is unlikely she’ll find us here” J’onn provides confidently. “You hid here as a teenager, it can serve the same purpose now”

“Yeah well, I failed at hiding remember? Hank Henshaw found me”

Eliza jumps in “only because you went flying with your sister, and you won’t be doing that since you’ve solar flared. You’re just Kara Danvers visiting her childhood home.”

“What about Lena?” Kara insists “she has an arrest warrant”

“Nobody knows she’s here.” J’onn reassures “as long as no one knows everything will be fine, just like in the fortress”

Ultimately Kara surrenders to their logic because it makes sense but also because Eliza bribes her with food and she’s starving. So Eliza and J’onn go downstairs to set the table, whilst Lena helps her in the shower.

“Are you still feeling dizzy?” Lena slides the white gown off, keeping a firm grip of one of her arms.

“A little” Kara mumbles with a droopy look. “But it’s going away”

“Does anything hurt?” Lena asks, examining the little red marks the stitching has left behind.

Kara tips forward to lay her head on Lena’s shoulder. “Only my pride”

“You sure?” she insists hearing the strain on the Kryptonian’s voice. Kara shakes her head and Lena feels a dampening patch on her shoulder, so she starts scratching idly at blonde hair to try and coax Kara out of her hiding spot, only for the blonde to settle even more. “Do you want to tell me?”

“I-“ a sob gets in the way of her speech so Lena runs a hand down her back comfortingly until she tries again. “Everything was going fine you know? I had the recordings and nobody saw me, but then… I-I went to the lab for the serum”

Lena hums along with the explanation.

“And- I just didn’t think she’ll be there you know. It’s not even her job anymore”

“Alex?”

“Yeah,” Kara says with a heavy sigh “I don’t know what happened, I guess I kind of never expected us to be on opposite sides.”

“Did she- was it her?” Lena rephrases.

Kara swallows the lump on her throat “just the nose part. The rest was later when Hayley realized I was there.”

“I’m sorry, Kara” Lena supplies, knowing it’s not nearly enough “you know that in any other circumstance she would never hurt you, she just… doesn’t know”

Kara doesn’t respond, looking extremely drained, so Lena decides to get them both into the shower and shampoo’s Kara’s hair gently without demanding any more answers and the blonde seems comfortable with the quiet intimacy. 

By the time they’ve dressed Kara is a little more vocal and gives Lena a heartfelt thank you with a kiss before they make their way downstairs for dinner.

The four of them talk over dinner affably, dissipating the tense energy they’ve been carrying around most of the day and it almost feels like it’s just a normal dinner night. By nine o’clock they’re all cramped in the couch watching a movie, and Lena has wrapped three blankets over Kara after she sneezed once.

Eventually, Kara falls asleep (not even halfway through the movie) and J’onn has to help carry her upstairs so she can rest, Lena follows quietly after saying goodnight to Eliza.

For the rest of the night, she just lays there, keeping a vigilant eye on the sleeping blonde and listening to the intermittent snores she lets out. Staring at the purple shadows over the bridge of Kara’s nose, Lena thinks about how they got here, secluded in a small town. Chased by the agency they both worked closely with to save the world in more than one occasion, with Kara battling the weight of having Alex on the opposite side.

Lena feels guilty somehow, even if it sounds a bit narcissistic, about Kara choosing her side over her sister’s and she knows it’s not exactly like that because Kara doesn’t choose between the people she loves, she just loves them all with an open heart. But it’s how it all feels like, and it’s so unfair for Kara’s world to be suddenly so divided in all of the wrong places.

It makes her angry, that any of this is happening in the first place over something as stupid as her secret identity. How is that even relevant to Supergirl’s work? It doesn’t change her desire to help people or her effectiveness to do so. The idea that Kara’s privacy and need to keep her family out of harm’s way it’s what suddenly makes her dangerous and untrustworthy it’s so absurd to Lena, she wants to punch this Hayley woman on the face.

Her blazing thoughts continue to morph into a borderline mental break down, what if they can’t fix this? She can’t just have Kara hide her and protect her forever. At some point the matter will have to resolve, whether that solving involves Lena in a prison cell it’s unknown, but the one thing she knows is that she can’t drag Kara with her. Whatever it takes, Lena will make sure it doesn’t happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, let me know what you think in the comments.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: SMUT (feel free to skip it cuz it isn't that good anyway)

“Ouch!” Kara squeaks, sticking her tongue out.

Lena sighs “I told you it was hot, Kara” she says, taking the cup from her hands.

“I know, but my brain forgets.” Kara makes grabby hands and Lena gives her back the mug warily.

She’s come to realize that a superpowerless Kara is very resembling of a toddler. It’s only been a couple hours since they’ve woken up but in that short amount of time the blonde has managed to stump her little toe against the corner of a chair, almost slipped down the stairs and tried to lift the teakettle barehanded. Lena knows Kara is clumsy, but she had no idea it was such a persistent trait.

“I honestly don’t know how you’ve made it this far” she can’t deny that is very amusing.

Kara huffs “I’m not that bad”

“You almost choked eating breakfast”

“Well, yes.” Kara admits embarrassingly “It’s not usually a problem, I can hold my breath for hours and hot tea isn’t a problem”

“Poor Supergirl, dealing with human problems” Lena mocks.

Kara bites her lip at the teasing “don’t be mean, it hurt” the Kryptonian approaches her predatorily “you should kiss it better instead of making fun of me”

“Oh yeah?” Lena promptly brings her hands to the back of Kara’s neck, who hums as a response. “And what would I get out of that deal?”

Kara looks her hungrily, failing to hide how attractive she finds Lena’s bratty behavior “ to you, Miss Luthor, I’ll give whatever you want” it’s supposed to carry a very obvious sexual innuendo but Lena also feels the heavy emotion dripping from the sentence, the utter conviction in the blue eyes that reveal more beyond its playfulness.

 So Lena tries to reciprocate with the fullness of her kiss, slow and deep, and Kara responds eagerly with disregard for her still tender tongue, knowing that Lena’s own is the best balm for it. At some point Lena ends up cornered against the kitchen counter, drowning in the heat of a very hands Kryptonian, not that she minds at all.

 Her body rolls instinctively towards the attention and when Kara’s hands start drifting down to grip her thighs she whimpers pathetically at the feel of it, the strength behind the lift that speaks volumes of how much power the blonde carries despite the lack of superpowers. Lena knows that Kryptonians are still stronger than humans even without the solar radiation of the yellow sun so it’s not surprising that Kara can pick her up easily, it is however extremely arousing and Lena can’t help but grind her hips.

“maybe- maybe we should take this to your room” Lena suggests breathily after Kara has attached herself to the expanse of her neck as her hands shift from Lena’s thighs to squeeze down on her butt, unbothered.

“Are we really going to do this in the kitchen of your adoptive mom’s house?”

Kara grins at her “I mean, this is definitely my favorite place to have a _snack_ ” 

Lena gasps at the indecency of it but feels her desire growing. “This is a bad idea” she tries again, more weakly.

“Why? Eliza said she’d be out for a while. J’onn is back on detective duty.” Kara smiles cheekily “and we, haven’t had any privacy in about two days”

Lena squints “that’s because someone got themselves into trouble”

“Right” Kara acknowledges “how about I make it up to you then?” she asks, thrusting her hips into Lena’s.

“Shit” Lena mumbles, throwing caution out the window. 

By some miraculous reason Kara manages to move the utensils out of the way without breaking anything and drops Lena gently onto the counter, and they continue to makeout freely, only interrupted when the blonde starts to pull at Lena’s clothes frantically. The grey lose shirt she had borrowed got quickly torn from her body, leaving her bare torso- she had tried to borrow a bra too, but none of Kara’s fitted her- to the exploration of  Kara’s pleased stare.

Kara ran her hands over the sides of her breast and avoided her hardening nipples to trail the flat surface of her upper chest, kissing the mole in her neck. Lena arched her back, following the warmth of the tanned hands and the blonde chuckles.

“You’re too impatient” Kara schools softly.

 “or maybe you’re too slow” Lena retorts, left hand coming up to cup her own breast “perhaps I’m going to have to do the job myself”

Kara glares but doesn’t move, so Lena touches herself more keenly with a daring look. However the blonde remains patient and simply watches her, until Lena grows frustrated and pouts, nudging Kara’s back with her calves to bring her closer. 

The blonde drops the stoic act, reaching for Lena and smirking when her green eyes close shut at the contact, the warms skin flushing under her touch as Kara stokes the rosy buds with her thumbs.

“ _So soft_ …” Kara whispers and nuzzles her right boob, Lena trusts her chest and gets rewarded when Kara opens her mouth to welcome her. The wet heat it’s disarming in a way that has Lena’s eyes rolling behind her eyelids, and in all honesty, she doesn’t understand why this feels so particularly good with Kara when it’s never been like that with anybody else.

The only explanation she has is that none has ever known her as intrinsically as Kara does, that nobody has moved her the way this alien woman from a planet two thousand light-years away does, and it’s so poetic in a way that Lena could have considered silly and unrealistic not too long ago, and yet here she is, gapping in a reality where something like that not only exists but it’s happening to her.

“Oh god!” she shouts as Kara bites down roughly with the perfect amount of pressure, making her rub her thighs together but the obstacle of Kara’s body won’t let her. “K-Kara… please, please“ she stammers, need fogging her mind enough for her to not care about sounding too needy.

The blond is merciful and only leaves a few more kisses and bites before moving on. Hooking her fingers under Lena’s burrowed shorts (Alex’s) and pulling them down, along with her underwear.

“Rao” Kara whispers at the sight of her, naked on the cold marble counter and looking like a living version of Aphrodite.

Lena blushes slightly at the scrutiny, still not used to the way Kara’s jaw slackens in quiet wonder. Incredulous that she could be a thing to wonder at in the first place, but Kara always know how to quell those anxious thoughts.

“You’re so beautiful, Lena” Kara murmurs into the curve of her hip, nose flaring like she’s trying to breathe her in. “I don’t understand how you can be so perfect” a kiss to her bellybutton has Lena squirming, the sensation ticklish, but also because of her reluctance to compliments.

Kara looks up at her “you do know that right?”

“I-“Lena doesn’t want to lie, honesty is something she values a lot “I believe it when _you_ say it”

Kara nods and comes up to kiss her “I mean it every time.” She assures before lifting Lena’s legs to rest on her shoulders so that she has an uninterrupted sight of her spreading, warm and welcoming. Lena propped on her elbows has a hard time not directing her with the hold of her tights to here she’s dripping, making an effort she stays as still as possible when Kara sucks with bruising force on the inside of her tight and soothes it after with small kisses.

By the time Kara decides to dip her tongue, Lena is already feeling like she might disintegrate and lets out an embarrassingly loud moan that bounces inside the house. Kara works diligently on her, licking her thoroughly and circling her stiff clit with the perfect speed that has Lena’s hips bulging to meet her. The sounds are so lewd that she wants to recoil in shame, but Kara slips her hands under her butt to push her against her face and moans at the taste, sending pleasant vibrations over her spine.

Lena falls completely on the counter with a small cry as she feels the familiar tug in her gut, taking in big gulps of hair to stop herself from coming so soon but Kara is working against her with intent, pushing to open up the wet rim of muscle at her entrance and keeping the pressure at her clit with skilled fingers.

“Kara, god- it feels so good, so good” Lena babbles, a hand tangling in Kara’s hair as a silent plea for her not to stop. The blonde gets the cue and speeds up, stretching Lena further with all the extension she can get and when Lena glimpses down Kara’s face is pressing deeply against her pussy, with her jaw wide open and her eyes halfway shut, it’s such an erotic sight that Lena can’t help but cum at it.

Switching to lighter stokes Kara draws her orgasm for a couple more blissful moments until all that’s left is the pleasurable aftershocks, and the blonde departs with one last grateful swipe before leaning over a very satisfied Lena, licking her lips contently.

“Did I made it up to you then?” Kara asks kissing her cheek.

Lena holds a finger up, catching her breath.

“Yes. I approve” she says finally.

Kara laughs and lowers to suck and swirl her nipple “good, but I’m not done yet”

Lena hums “you like my boobs too much, it’s unhealthy”

“Excuse me? There’s no such thing as boobs and too much in the same sentence” Kara says with faux indignation.

“Okay, okay, my bad” Lena apologizes, running a hand over Kara’s hair as the girl leaves a hickey on the underside of her breast. “As much fun as this kitchen adventure has been, care to move this to the bedroom? My back is killing me”

Kara nods and helps her to dismount the counter.

Lena takes her hand “okay let's go, Danvers, I’m going to fuck you so hard you won’t remember how to speak English”

“Lena!” Kara screams scandalized but follows her dutifully.

 ---

By the time Eliza is back, they’re almost done cooking lunch and the three of them sit down to eat, talking comfortably the whole time. Despite knowing how unbelievably kind the woman is, Lena is still surprised that Eliza doesn’t resent her at all for what’s happening, if she was in that situation Lena isn’t sure she could be so gracious.

In fact, Eliza is so supportive of her it’s sort of unsettling for someone like her who’s so used to people perceiving her as another shady Luthor and Lena thinks maybe she’s just doing it for the sake of Kara but it doesn’t make sense why after all the trouble Lena has gotten her daughter into, endangering her life should enough to want her as far as possible from her family. Yet, here the woman is giving her reassuring words.

“Science always stood thanks to experimentation, Lena. Surgery, vaccines, it was all trial and error for the betterment of humanity and from what you told me you gave that boy the fairest treatment and proceeded exactly to do as he had consented. You did nothing wrong, sweetheart” Eliza says sympathetically.

Lena stiffens a little, overwhelmed with insecurity “I- thank you. For everything, I don’t even know how to thank you after all the discomfort I’ve brought to you and your family”

Eliza gives her a soft reprehensive stare “nonsense, you’re part of this family now. That means we take care of you when you need us to, okay?” Lena opens her mouth to retort “- and I’m not taking a no for an answer”

Lena nods with pink cheeks “thank you”

Kara grabs her hand where is resting over the table and smiles encouragingly at her, Lena feels the tension lifting from her shoulders as she stares into ocean blue eyes.

“So how long has that been going on?” Eliza disrupts the moment, pointing with her fork to their joined hands. Lena feels an urge to hide her hand but Kara just rubs her thumb up and down to quell the anxiety.

“It’s umm recent,” the blonde says, realizing she’s not really sure what their status is.

“Well, I’m very happy you’ve finally acted on it because seeing you two interact and pretend you didn’t have feelings for each other was kind of painful”

Kara laughs loudly “agreed” Lena only smiles sheepishly, hoping she can prove Eliza she’s worthy of Kara at some point.

After lunch Kara begs her to go down the beach and Lena is hopeless to her puppy eyes. So she ends up agreeing and applying a thick coat of sunscreen on her body just to be safe and when they exit the house to step into the unforgiving sun she considers putting on some more. Her hesitancy diminishes when she looks at Kara’s satisfied expression as they stroll in the heated sand, the little skip of her walk is so adorable Lena can’t stop awing internally.

The ocean extends beautifully beyond the horizon in a mighty sight, and as soon as they get there Kara’s throws her clothes away mindlessly and makes a run for the water. Lena stares lovingly behind her and puts down a towel in the sand, neatly folding Kara’s clothes.

“Lena, get in!” Kara shouts excitedly standing in waist-high waves.

Lena swallows heavily and brushes her off, promising to be there in a while. The next fifteen minutes she spends them looking at the Kryptonian happily swimming about like a little kid. It’s when Kara starts wandering into deeper waters that Lena feels worry taking over, she climbs to her feet and edges the store nervously. Her heart raises and the sound of the waves roars loudly on her ears.

Kara notices her standing in the wet sand and swims back.

“Lena! Come on the water isn’t even cold” she says brightly, only to feel her smile fade quickly “what’s wrong?” 

“What?” Lena whispers with a frown.

“Baby, you’re crying”

Lena feels her cheek and finds it wet. “Oh… I’m sorry”

Kara shakes her head and cups her jaw “Don’t. It’s okay, I just want to know why?” the cadence of the words lets Lena know there’s no demand, just love and concern.

She looks at her feet, considering if she really wants to open this sealed box. Finally, she sighs “I guess I just… you were going farther away and I lost you a little behind a wave and- I thought of my mom” more tears roll down.

“Lena…”

“No, it’s okay. Gosh, it’s so stupid but I supposed it scared me that it might happen again. Sorry” Lena laughs tightly at her own panic.

Kara tips her chin up to look her in the eye “no, no, no. I’m sorry I didn’t thought about that”

“You could’ve known”

“I should have, I asked you to come to the beach and- Rao I didn’t thought about it” Kara says regretfully.

Lena grips her wrist softly “I wanted to come, I’ve been at beaches and pools a lot it’s not like I avoid water, it’s just… I love you and usually, that’s a cue for the universe to send some manic interference”

“You’re not going to lose me, Lena” Kara promises, resting her forehead against Lena’s “I won’t let it happen”

“Kara, you can’t be in control of everything”

“I know that. But I’ll fight the Gods themselves if I have to, yours or mine, it doesn’t matter.” Conviction spills out of the words “whoever stands in my way, in the way of this” Kara brings her hand to her chest, over her heart and Lena has never felt so much raw endearment for anyone.

“I love you” she can’t help but say it, breathily like she has no air in her lungs. She doesn’t, because Kara is so breathtakingly fierce right now. Kara kisses her to reinforce everything she just said and the world fades, the beach seems miles away and all that exists is them, inside their shielding bubble where the nothing can touch them as long as their together.

Afterwards, Kara asks if she wants to leave, but Lena assures her its fine and they stick to swallower waters, with the blonde keeping a cautious eye on her the whole time. Eventually, they relax enough to let the tense moment be forgotten and soak blissfully in the sway of the ocean, Kara sings a Kryptonian lullaby as they stare at the starts of a sunset, with Lena’s back pressed to her front.

They catch the mix of oranges and reds slowly dissipating as they lay on the sand, slotted together and unpreoccupied.

“Lena?” Kara asks suddenly.

Tearing her eyes away from the horizon she looks up at Kara from where she’s laying on the Kryptonian’s strong chest.

“Yeah?”

“I was just thinking about- oh _wow_ ” Kara makes a choked sound and stares widely at her.

“What?”

“You have freckles” Kara says bewildered.

Lena scrunches her nose feeling shy “it’s the sun exposure”

“Rao, I want to marry you” Kara exclaims and Lena sputters at the statement, lifting herself form Kara’s chest.

“Oh wait, no! I mean yes!- like I do want to but that’s not what I was going to say, you just look so beautiful right now and I’m like madly in love with you which is why I would want to marry you. Someday! Not like now, now because it’s so soon still but I do want to, unless you don’t and that would be perfectly fine to me-“

“Kara stop” Lena chuckles at the wild rant “it’s okay, you just surprised me. I’m not opposed to the idea though”

“You’re not?” Kara asks hopeful.

“I don’t know if you’ve notice but I’m like head over heels for you, silly” Lena declares, leaving a kiss on the sharp line of the blonde’s jaw and Kara giggles. “We can log that conversation for later, what were you going to say?”

Bright blue eyes search hers “I was just thinking about lunch with my mom, and how she asked how long we had been- well, more than friends”

“mhm” Lena hums, playing with a strand of golden hair.

“and I wanted- I almost said…” Kara struggles to find the words, Lena gives her an encouraging nod and she let’s go of her thoughts unfiltered “I wanted to call you _my_ _girlfriend_ ”

Lena blinks slowly catching onto the meaning.

“What I’m trying to say is that I want a relationship with you, a serious one. I know it might not be really good timing but- Lena, I’ve never felt like this before. Not ever. So I was wondering if you would like to, maybe, be my girlfriend?” Kara bites her lip as she finishes, and Lena doesn’t understand how Kara thinks that’s an proposition she’d reject.

“Yes”

Kara tilts her head cutely “yes?”

“Yes, I’m your girlfriend” Lena says with a wide smile “and you’re mine”

 “I am” the blonde speaks excitedly “oh sweet Jesus, I’m your girlfriend” 

Lena snorts but fails to hide her own sentiment, going in for a chaste kiss.

The walk home is spent in a quiet complicity of looks and touches, a title doesn’t change a whole lot but the meaning behind it makes them joyous. It’s the knowledge that this isn’t just a futile thing for them, it’s a vow they made on a beach with the sea as their only witness and the weight of that sits comfortably on Lena’s heart, of Kara wanting something permanent.

But the universe isn’t just going to turn a blind eye for her. When they enter the house Brainy is there and if it goes like the last time she saw him the news he carries can’t be of the good kind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to move this story along but my brain just keeps focusing on the most unimportant stuff to write about, sowwy :c


	11. Chapter 11

Lena shakes her head in defeat, slumped in the couch with abscently. Barely processing the image of Kara pacing heavily close by, if she had her powers Lena isn’t sure the floor would stand intact to the angry force behind her hurried steps.

“J’onn can just fly us back to the fortress easily, there, problem solved” she says, arms jarring on her hips.

Lena sighs “she’d just track us down again. You’re still recovering and even if we just left, she already followed the trail to you”

“ _And_?” Kara snaps petulantly.

“That means she’ll probably deduce that you’re Kara Danvers when we try to run! And then she could go to you as a civilian, at Catco or your apartment”

“I’ll fight her then” she retorts. The impulsivity behind it makes Lena scoff harshly.

Brainy clears his throat behind them “well you-“

“I don’t want to hear your odds, Brainy” Kara cuts him off.

Lena shoots up from the couch “I do. Come on, tell me”

He looks between the both of them, trying to decide whose wrath he’ll rather face. “46.7% of failure probability.”

Kara’s neck veins pump and she glares deadly at him, Brainy squeaks and steps behind Lena with genuine fear.

“Last time you tried to go against her you’re percentage was only 20% and you almost died, Kara. 46% is an unacceptable gamble”

“I’ve won with worst odds before”

Lena laughs in an effort to regulate her irritation “I know you think you’re all mighty but that’s bullshit to me right now, okay? Fuck your goddess prestige, you’re not going to punch your way out of this, wanna know why? Because it’ll kill you!”

Kara flinches at the semi-shouted words “oh now you’re going to use the god complex thing, great.”

 “I’m just trying to make you reason, we can’t afford to be reckless with this” Lena tries more softly, already regretting the outburst at the pained expression in the blonde’s face, she knows Kara didn’t have any choice over her condition so it’s not fair to rub it in especially when Lena herself has seen her at her most human.

She can see it now, how scared Kara actually is. How her running head first into a fight means she’s starting to feel powerless, incapable of helping, stuck and trapped. The same way it felt when Krypton exploded, the same way it felt when Kal-El didn’t need her protection and she was left to embark on a purposeless life, the exact same way she felt when Alex got a mind wipe because there wasn’t another option. Kara feels like she’s failing.

“Then, we-we can just run” Kara says desperately.

Lena wants to give her options, but she doesn’t have them “what about Eliza? Alex? J’onn? You think she won’t get her hands on them to lure us out?”

Kara deflates visibly, knowing the other woman is right and she can’t keep everybody safe. Her teary blue eyes search the room silently for a solution but she comes empty handed.

“Hey” Lena steps closer, immediately feeling the need to calm her distress. “I know it looks like a dead end but-“

“You’re not going with her” it must have been intended to be stern, authoritarian even, but it’s whispered into existence like little plea filled with dread.

Her heart races and Lena is grateful Kara can’t hear it right now because it would be such an easy tell.

“I’m not,” Lena says as she brushes a tanned cheekbone, glowing after their day at the beach. Fighting the nervous bob of her throat she reiterates “I won’t”

Kara lets out a relieved sob and nods. Lena can’t help but feel awful about the inexistence of her honesty but she can’t allow things to escalate further, the madness their lives have become must be stopped and looking at Kara is clear the decision is going to fall on Lena’s hands.

She turns around to Brainy, unable to keep eye contact with the blonde “has she organized a raid yet?”

“Not that I know of, but the Coronel had been very invested in keeping me on paperwork duty,” he says making a quoting finger gesture “she could fall upon us at any moment”

“Okay, but you have tabs on them right? You’ll be able to tell us if they’re heading here?”

“Yes, that is among my capabilities” he smiles pleased.

“Good. I have an idea” Kara perks up at that “if J’onn flies me back to the fortress, they’ll go after us. Especially if they think it’s Supergirl.”

“What? How does that help?” kara asks in confusion.

“Because you’ll be back here, human Kara Danvers, it’ll let you and your family off the hook” Lena explains.

Kara sputters “what- no, she’s still going to know I hid _you_ here”

“Sure, but Hayley doesn’t want you, Alex’s little reporter sister. Once she realizes we are not here, she’ll move on. Your identity and your family will remain safe” Lena explains.

“What about when she tries to get your location out of me?” the frown in Kara’s forehead is deep, the idea is clearly not amusing to her.

“Alex is probably going to speak in your favor since you’re just Kara to her and all you’re going to tell them is that I dropped by and you couldn’t kick out a friend. It’ll work”

“And then what?” Kara whines

Lena puts a gentle hand on her shoulder “then you join me in the fortress when things settle down, just a couple of days for you to get your powers back. It’ll be easy, she won’t have a clue”

Kara is hesitant “I don’t want to be apart from you. What if something goes wrong?”

Lena smiles softly “then I’ll just wing it. We have to try something right?” she tries to convey as much confidence into her stance as the can and it pays off when Kara agrees with a short ‘okay’, convinced by her logic.

They call J’onn and he accepts quickly to the plan, soon enough Lena is putting on a burrowed coat to avoid freezing during the flight. Kara is broody the whole time, dragging her feet and pouting dramatically at her, it’s so compelling she almost throws her strategy out the window to stay.

“I could still go with you” Kara makes a final try as they stand in the porch. Eliza and Brainy having stayed inside to give them some privacy.

Lena shakes her head with a warm smile “no need, I’ll be fine. If anything I should be the one worrying… you’re the one staying behind”

“Oh I can handle it” Kara says, flexing a bicep cockily.

“hmm, you’re so brave” Lena teases raising a brow.

The blonde snorts but feels contentment flourish inside her chest, even if the compliment is delivered jokingly. Her smile falters however when she remembers why their outside in the dimly lit porch “I’m just going to miss you so much”

Kara’s words slip out heavily, already carrying the mournfulness of her absence when they haven’t even parted. Lena closes her eyes to contain the threatening tears, she can’t allow feelings to slip down her cheeks right now because then Kara won’t let her leave. Kara would know.

Somehow she finds the strength to speak “I’ll miss you too, love. The whole time”

The Kryptonian inhales deeply, hands traveling upwards to cradle the younger woman’s face “but it’ll only be a couple of days, right?” it’s said in such a hopeful beat that Lena wants to hide in a corner, but she carefully has to conceal her utter devastation.

“Right.”

Somewhere behind them, there’s a subtle thud and then J’onn’s in their line of vision, waving.

Kara throws her head back, blinking rapidly and Lena leans to kiss the exposed skin of her neck, ripping a giggle out of her. When she finally looks down her blue eyes are a little teary, as are Lena’s much to her dismay.

“Okay, off you go then” Kara mumbles, still holding on to her. “Be careful please”

“Don’t worry, I will. It’ll be over soon” Lena promises, tiptoeing on the line of bluntly lying but wanting to give her girlfriend a silver lining. 

Kara nods, eying J’onn quickly before stepping impossibly closer into Lena’s space to whisper “I love you”

Lena pulls her in for a kiss immediately, tries to keep it chaste for J’onn’s sake but the blonde digs deeper, looking for reassurance that things will truly be okay and Lena is only human, so she indulges her in a long-lasting-toe-curling kiss. When it comes to a halt they’re both a little breathless.

“I love you too, more than you know” Lena says chocking up at the end as Kara drags her in for a hug. For a full minute they stay like that, just holding each other and Lena can physically feel her will weakening, overpowered by the desire of staying in the comfort of Kara’s arms. Ultimately the door cracking open it’s what makes them untangle.

Brainy peaks out holding up a single finger “pardon my interruption, but there’s just been a dispatch of a DEO unit, heading for our current location”

Kara frowns “Alex or Hayley?”

“Director Danvers is directing the operation, though Hayley put up some of her own goons into the ensemble” Brainy communicates.

Kara thanks him before refocusing on Lena “you better leave now. You’ll miss the show of me trying to convince them I only acted as a caring friend, oh Rao- are they going to arrest me for that?”

Lena chuckles “I doubt it, Alex would rather burn the DEO to the grown”

There’s a short moment of silence before Kara steals another kiss from her- or at least it would be stealing if Lena didn’t offer herself such enthusiastic participation- and soon enough Lena is walking down the steps of the porch towards a patient J’onn.

“Sorry for the wait” Lena apologizes. He’s about to greet her when his stance stiffens visibly and she knows he’s read her thoughts, accidentally or purposefully it doesn’t matter.

“ _Lena…_ ” he says in a low tone of unpleasant disbelief, face contortions with mystified emotions Lena can’t quite decipher. Maybe angry concern would be the closest she can get.

“There’s no time for discussion. They’ll be here soon” it basically rips the choice out of his hands and Lena knows it, regardless of how he weighs his options there’s only one possible outcome that doesn’t end up with Kara hurt, at least physically. So in a matter of seconds he grudgingly picks her up, Lena shares a last longing look with Kara before he jumps into the sky and speeds up.

\---

“Are you out of your mind?”

“Alex I-“

“What were you thinking about, Kara?” she questions with a deep crease on her forehead.

“I was thinking about how my best friend needed my help!” Kara replies in frustration.

Alex sighs tiredly “listen, I know this is a difficult position for you to be in. I feel the same way, Lena is our friend… but she broke the law. We have to bring her in, she broke constitutional rules, Kara. Both as a DEO consultant and as a civilian.”

“She didn’mean to do anything wrong, you know that. You know her, Alex. It’s Lena” Kara appeals to her sister’s softer side.

“I- I’m aware of that, okay? And if the DEO was solely under my command I would put my neck in the line for her. But Hayley and the President aren’t so forgiving and whatever they say I’m obligated to do, otherwise I’d just get fire. I was trying, believe me, I was trying to- find a way to help her.”

“Well, it only looks like you were trying to arrest her” Kara signals behind them to the black cars filled with agents.

“That was just a precaution, in case things when to the rough side and Supergirl showed up. After she broke into our facility everyone’s been on their nerves” a heavy hand comes to grip Kara’s shoulder “I don’t want you involved in this, Kara. Not with Lena. Not with Supergirl, okay? I can promise you that I’ll try my best to clear things out and if she’s innocent then there’s nothing to worry about”

Kara nods, trying to play the part and assure Alex that she’ll be out of the picture. Reaching to touch the hand on her shoulder she speaks “thank you.”

“I do have to ask you where she is, although I think I know what you’re going to say about that”

Kara confirms her theory by shaking her head resolutely and Alex smiles for a brief second before her someone is slipping into her coms, with a finger pressing on her ear she answers.

“Yes, the location is secure but- _oh_ ” brown eyes spare Kara a cautious look and the blonde immediately knows something went wrong, fear slipping onto her features. “Yes ma’am will be back shortly”

When Alex refocuses on her there’s a sourness in her disposition as if she’d rather not pass down the information- probably she shouldn’t since she’s violating multiple codes by talking to a civilian about it, but it’s her sister and Kara is more important than her work, has always been. A part of her doesn’t want to say anything, knowing how upset Kara is going to be and on the other hand, she wants to give her the honesty she deserves or at the very least part of it for now. 

“Lena just turned herself in”

\---

J’onn doesn’t say anything for the majority of the trip, just maintains a stoic silence that’s somehow more troubling than the kind of reprimand she had been hoping for. So perhaps he knows Lena is already battering herself mentally for what she’s intending to do.

When he lands them on the top of the building the silence finally breaks.

“I have to” Lena states.

“Who are you exactly trying to protect with this?” his voice tampers with judgment and Lena almost feels ashamed that he tricked him into this situation.

“You know who. It’s always her”

He crosses his arms “how is this protecting her? Do you think Hayley won’t use everything she has on you to find out her identity?”

“No, and even if she tried I wouldn’t break” she says simply, taking in the sight of National City after the week and half that felt like an eternity.

“You can’t know that. She has everything she needs to sink your company, to sink you with the rest of your family.” Lena’s unresponsiveness shows him that’s not a worry of hers so he tries something different “if you think I’m going to let you walk in there to endanger Kara, you’re very wrong and don’t even dare to mention the memory wipe because that’s not happening. I already took her sister away, I’m not making the same mistake twice.”

“She doesn’t want Supergirl anymore. I made a trade that ensures that Kara will be left out of it finally” Lena discloses, hoping is convincing enough since trying to fight him would be unsuccessful.

“What? When?”

“I called form Midvale, Alex patched me through and we made a deal. I surrender to their custody, cooperate with them and Kara Danvers won’t be held accountable for complicity.” It’s a rather simple solution, one that she always had present but waited on as a last recourse.

J’onn is speechless for a couple of seconds, clearly, when he read her thoughts it was only superficial and now with all the cards on the table, Lena knows she makes a convincing case. “Lena, you have no idea if they will ever release you” this time is honest worry that shines through in his words, worry for her.

Lena smiles “I’ll be working with one of your kids. I trust Alex’s moral compass, you made her into a pretty good Director so…” she shrugs.

“What about Kara?”

“She’ll understand, I hope. I just- I can’t let her do this anymore.” Lena says and tears start rushing back as she remembers their goodbye. She loves Kara so deeply and thinking about being away from her in another context than temporary is painful, but she’s also certain that they can’t draw the situation much longer. Hiding hasn’t been working and Kara got seriously hurt in an attempt to protect her, just those two factors are more than enough justification in her mind to stop the madness. Their little runaway fantasy had been heaven while it lasted, but she can’t ignore how she’s putting Kara and her family in danger.

“Just tell her that I’m sorry, please?” she throws in the last request. J’onn looks conflicted but ultimately understands she won’t change her mind and nods. Lena walks away with a determined stride to find the stairs that’ll lead inside, praying she’s made the right choice.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back at it with the angst, feel free to scream at me in the comments for whatever reason you find appropriate.

**Author's Note:**

> i was just going to write something spontaneous and short since tomorrow season 4 returns but this just turned out sad af. sorry :(


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